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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Went to my first mtg! Should I go back?
Post Info TOPIC: Went to my first mtg! Should I go back?
rainlax


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Went to my first mtg! Should I go back?
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So, I went to my first meeting tonight! I had to walk around the block a few times before going in, but I went!

 

It was... okay. I felt a bit like I didn't fit in. Everyone there who shared was dealing with a loved one who is currently drinking. I'm not, nor have I ever been, in that situation. I don't drink (never have), most of my friens don't drink, my dad has never drank, my mum has a glass of wine with dinner sometimes... and now even my partner is a sober alcoholic. So I don't have the anger and other feelings that many of the other people there were talking about.

 

I felt like some of the things they said made sense to me and that I could grow and learn from this. But on the other hand, I'm simply in a very different situation from the other people there, since I never knew my partner when he was still drinking and doing drugs.

 

Should I go back? I feel like I'm belittling everyone else's problems by being there. Advice?



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PP


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Rainlax, I have often heard in al anon meetings to commit to 6 meetings before making a decision as to whether or not to return.  There is something that drew you in....give it a try and see what happens.  It is a small commitment that may end up changing your life.  Good for you for going



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Paula
Jerry F


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Rain...yes you should go back.  One meeting doesn't a recovery make.  Go back, sit down, listen and learn.  Look for similarities and not differences.  The steps and the traditions and slogans of Al-Anon are the same as AA...you will be learning similar thought and language processes as your alcoholic partner.  Common language is important.  (((hugs))) smile



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afglin


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Absolutely. We live with a drinking or a non drinking alcoholic. We all share many of the same feelings. Also, people come and people try different meetings. So next week there may be some who are living with a sober alcoholic. I learn from everybody that attends mine.

LINDA

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Lin
f2fmember


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You qualify..... no question

There are all sorts of qualifying situations..... adult children, parents, husband and wifes (whether they are drinking or not) friends, One fella comes to our meeting who qualifies because his grandmother drank....and he's never met her ! Her behaviour affected his mum and so he brought him up in a dysfunctional way....

THis disease is far reaching.

The important thing is that we all find the program and begin to work it

I've been told to look for the similarities and not the differences..... sooner or later you'll hear your own story.



-- Edited by f2fmember on Monday 25th of February 2013 03:35:33 PM

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LeenieBeanie


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Rain

I felt the same way when I attended my first AlAnon meeting. My parents did not drink nor does my husband. I was looking for advise on getting my daughter to stop drinking.  The meetings I first attended where mostly people with active drinking partners. I felt  little lost untill I started reading every bit of literature I could find on alcoholism and also went to other meetings. I had no clue that I was the one that needed the "fixing".

As Afglin said, you will meet other members who are living with with sober alcoholics and they have a lot of wisdom to share. Give it a chance and you will see the program working for you in every aspect of your life, even if you partner is not drinking.

Wishing you all the best!



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canadianguy


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Should you go back?

 

Only if you want to get past the pain, and learn more about you, and how you can find your serenity.... in other words, YES!!!


T



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
Debilyn


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Omgosh no question!!!!

hey this has nothing to do with the A. For some reason you were attracted to him. He is an A. Even if he is just not drinking, you will be or are dealing with living with an A/ Plus it is a lifetime disease, and relapse is part of it.

Al Anon can teach us so much! My life is so much better. I don't react to any conflict and am not afraid of it, I choose how i respond to things and what people say. Am so much more extroverted. Most important with these tools and skills I can share my experience with others as I learn from theirs!

I like the look for the things you share not oh that does not mean me. It may someday. Believe me this disease does not hide its daggers. It is so much better to be prepared and be able to stay serene and think, oh wow that is the disease talking. Or geez sucks to be you and not take it to heart.

I am nothing like the scared, always getting hurt hiding person I used to be. Am challenging, have my own thoughts, my own power, my own humbleness. Am not afraid to be wrong one tiny bit, am not patting myself on the back when I am right, but happy I could help. Am closer to my HP, God the creator than I have ever been. now being in love with a man who is divorcing his A, I do better with that situation.

You can get nothing but good from it and LOOK, you walked in!! I am sooo proud of you! Courage is when you follow thru even when you are afraid. Hey hero's are hero's not becuz they are not afraid, it is becuz they are!

this excites me for you. I love knowledge and Al Anon is vital for everyone as our world is full of addicts that are part of our lives. It will help you make better decisions. Its good for you to see how addicts including yours, can be might be will be. We never know when they may take that next drink, or use a needle or get hooked on pills....If we are prepared, it will go sooo much better.

hugs! debilyn



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Hoot Nanny


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rainlax: go back because some of us do have recovering A's in our lives!


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Hoot Nanny
rainlax


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BIG thank you to everyone who replied!!! I can't tell you how much the support means to me. My partner is away and today sent me this amazing note about how happy he was that I took the step and went to an al-anon mtg last night. So I know it means so much to him that I want to learn more about this part of who he is and that in turn means a lot to ME.

I'm going to check out another meeting tomorrow night and this time I'm actually looking forward to it! :D I haven't found my place but am excited to see if that place shows itself to me.

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