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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> i surrender
Post Info TOPIC: i surrender
Lyne


~*Service Worker*~

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i surrender
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Yesterday my A spouse not only drank yesterday so that her speech was slurred, but she refused to let me drive her home and she drove herself.  She's not going to change and she could have killed someone.  I MUST accept this.  Lyne



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Lyne
el-cee


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Lyne, Im sorry this is part of your life. I think acceptance of these behaviours is part of recovery. I also think that we really need boundaries to unacceptable behaviours. I am not very good with boundaries. I fail to protect them the way I should and each time it eats away at me and then my self esteem begins to fall. If the car is yours then maybe you could refuse to let her use it. Or you could call the police but our program says dont create a crisis. Then again consequences are also important. It may be that her consequences will come sooner rather than later if these are the choices she is making. Protect yourself as much as you can. Take care.

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Pushka


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Hugs Lynn, it's your car you have a right to say no as well as call the police. I feel it is my duty. I go through the what if's, I would rather see a loved one in jail vs looking at the innocent family burying an innocent victim. Especially if they are drunk and left the scene in my car. I'm going to be held accountable for the end results. Powerlessness and acceptance are powerful growth steps. Taking care of you is big right now. I hope you can find a meeting. Hugs p :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Debilyn


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I too will not allow anyone to drive drunk if I can disable their vehicle, or easily get the keys. If you give it some thought, you can come up with something that won't make a conflict.

Been enough babies and good people killed by people influenced by drugs, I will not be part of allowing that to possibly happen.

My moral law comes before anything else except my HP.s

I am glad you learned from this. It is not easy really facing what a mess they are in, and how bad it is, takes courage. Your program is progressing!. love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Heather 68


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In my experience when i truely accepted I did not cause the drinking, can not cure it and can not control it i had some peace. I have detached myself from the issues that my ABF causes by his drinking, no more enabling for me!!



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