Coping with Anxiety - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Coping with Anxiety

slogan_jim · Senior Member

Hi Everyone,

Lately, I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety. My problem is that this anxiety is unwarranted and it's getting better but it can't stop.

One thing I am worried about is that I will one day snap and cause a lot of distress for everyone around me, much like my parents did. They are both mentally ill (alcoholic father, schizophrenic mother). Their illnesses came very suddenly and they effects were hard and fast.

Now, there is no character trait about me that indicated that I would be prone to this. I attend al-anon regularly, have a sponsor speak to them regularly, have even spoken to councellor's who have said that I am perfectly mentally sound. Yet, this anxiety and these thoughts still lingers.

I have found the more I fight it, the worse it gets but when I 'let go' and trust that I am in fact a good person, I feel very relaxed and it decreases.

Does anyone else have any coping skills?

blondie99 · Veteran Member

Hi Jim - I actually had that issue this morning - major panic attack that lasted about 1/2 hour. There is a lot going on in my life right now so these have been frequent. I found that these few things stop the merry-go-round in my head.

1) Focus a meditation on the space between your eyes. Sounds crazy, I know...but if I focus on the space where my "third eye" is, it truly helps.
2) Take deep breaths in through your nose, visualizing clean, safe, energy coming into your body. Exhale through your mouth, letting all the tension go. It helps me if a make a whooshing or heavy sighing sound while exhaling.
3) While doing these exercises, hold both hands over your heart, focusing on the breath.
Might sound like new age mumbo jumbo but it got me through it this morning.

I also say the serenity prayer to myself over and over (and over) again, along with the four "C"s.

Have faith in yourself and turn it all over to your HP. I know mine protects me all the time from the craziness in my life and I'm sure your HP will do the same for you. :)

Blessings!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

May I ask you what do you do for fun? What is your passion? Fishing? hiking? gardening, making model planes etc.? Many people go through bouts of anxiety and cannot pinpoint it.

I have some one close to me that goes thru this anxiety off and on. I find it does not matter why as much as what are you going to do about it.

It is a very uncomfortable thing. so for me that means no sugar, caffeine, nicotine etc. I only have to give up the sugar. It's making sure you get enough sleep, or rest if you cannot sleep. I read a lot, seems like reading The Farside helps me and watching movies i like that are funny. I think being idle is the worst, I kinda make myself be busy.

I hope this helps some. It can be from medical things too so going to a doc can help.
My iron can get low so that definitely get to me.

do things good for yourself. hugs,debilyn

slogan_jim · Senior Member

Thanks Guys,

For fun, I enjoy being active. I play ball hockey, which I really enjoy, I will go to the gym etc.

I went out to dinner with ym family tonight and I spoke with them about it. My sister recommended meditation and yoga, which I am looking into.

I find the breathing helps to :)

rehprof · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Jim!

I find that if I exercise regularly...even just walks...it draws off excess energy that feeds my anxiety. I also have tranquilizers with me...and I rarely take them (maybe 4 times a year)..but I know they are there...so if my coping strategies fail...I know I have something to help.

I do tonglen (you can google it)...a meditative practice...and try to remember that millions of other people are feeling anxious in this crazy old world...and I pray for all of us to have peace.

Lastly, I give myself permission to flip out. It's such a paradox...I used to have anxiety attacks driving...and the more I told myself "I can't do this" in my mind, the worse the anxiety became. Now, I just pull the car over and say to my anxiety "LET"S GO! BRING IT!" knowing that even if I throw a full-blown anxiety attack that it will pass after a few minutes...what's so funny is that as soon as I give myself permission to flip to hell out BIG...it almost always goes away...

Some people have given their anxiety a name so they can talk to it and manage their symptoms...I'm thinking I should do that too..."Go away Sheldon, I don't have time for you right now" -- Sheldon is a good name for anxiety, right? hahahahah

Sending strength,

RP

BTW -- You are no crazier than any of the rest of us jackwagons...Wavy Graavy said "we're ALL just bozos on the bus"

-- Edited by rehprof on Thursday 21st of February 2013 07:25:20 AM

oldergal · Senior Member

I have had anxiety attacks in the past, took meds. But now I do breathing and meditation, sitting and breathng style for at least 20 mins twice a day if you can get it in. Very good practice, every time you start worrying, stop and let the thought go like a hellium balloon and come back to a peaceful word that you make up. A simple and free practice. It is so simple you won't feel like you are doing anything. Keep it up and you will see changes, but they will be so subtle and natural you won't even know you made changes effortlessly until it comes across your mind one day.

Oldergal

Tairaruth · Newbie

Panic attacks are one of the reasons I am back here again. I have come to realize anew that without the regular 'good stuff' going in, my ability to cope decreases and my negative self-talk increases. I understand that a lot of these panic attacks are due directly around issues of trust, of feeling okay, and of changing the views that I adopted from my parents when I was a child. I am finding that simply remembering to breath and allow the feelings to wash through me helps and I think I would like to try a few of the suggestions that I see here.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Heck, I am crazy - I do have a psychiatrist and my life is not so horrid. Your parents are at the extremes Jim. Your dad is a pretty severe alcoholic and your mom has a type of mental illness that only 1 percent of the population has and if you were going to have a psychotic break, it usually happens with males in the age ranges of 16 to 22 or so. So...basically I'm reading fear of losing control and becoming like your parents. Coping skills? Stay in the moment. Don't project. Recognize when it's your past trying to drag you back. Positive self-talk. Even if you did have anxiety or depression and needed help, that would not be the end of your life. You will be okay 1 day at a time.

Acceptance is the answer helps me too. Of course you can change the part about "accepting my own alcoholism" to accepting the effects that the disease had on you or whatever else....

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

atheos · Senior Member

I think just about everyone with a schizophrenic in the family goes through the "will I get it?" worrying... so, for what it's worth, you are far from alone in that.

I spent years worrying, collecting every reassuring statistic that I could, and only ever felt a little better from it all because I could never be 100% totally sure I would never get it, and anything less than complete certainty was terrifying.

Finally someone helped me to see that the nightmare scenario in my head consisted of not just one improbable event, but several. "What if I get sick AND treatment doesn't work AND there's no-one to help me AND..." but I had been treating all of that as a unit in my head, assuming that if I got sick all the other worst-case scenarios would automatically happen TOO. But it turns out it takes a LOT of improbable horrible things ALL happening together for you to be completely, irrevocably screwed with no hope of improving your situation. So even if something bad DOES happen, odds are there would be ways to deal with it.

The other thing to consider is that a LOT of people with a schizophrenic in the family have some post-traumatic stress symptoms. According to the DSM-IV, PTSD can occur when "the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others" (although it says "physical", seeing someone literally lose their mind to psychosis counts) and "the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror". You don't have to be having flashbacks like on TV to have post-traumatic stress... intrusive, excessive worrying that what you witnessed could happen to you is one of the many forms it can take. I'm not trying to diagnose you, and I'm not a doctor (just speaking from personal experience)... but you may want to do some reading on the subject, and seek treatment if you feel it is appropriate/necessary.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.