The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
OK...all the serenity I have built on for the last week is GONE.
My AH called me today...was supposed to officially be his first day out of blackout in rehab, but he's called me pretty much every day.
It started as a nice conversation, I was telling him I am home today under the weather. He said that he's been going to his meetings, taking care of himself, talking about his new roommate.
He asked me about the dog I still have here. I told him that he's doing OK - been getting up several times in the middle of the night. He's old and needs to go out or I'll have a mess in the house.
Then, he tells me, "Well, just want to let you know (our other dog) is doing fine. (AH's mistress) has been bringing him to the AA meetings every morning - sometimes she even brings him into the building with her."
O. M. G. Are you KIDDING me?
Firstly, who would allow someone to attend an AA meeting while the person is supposed to be on blackout. And why in the world would they let her bring in the DOG? I've been minding my own business and taking care of myself this whole time, and then this gets slapped on me.
And why would he think that I want to hear this? Really????? That our dog is OK because the other woman has been bringing him to your AA meetings during your blackout period?
Oh wait, he's not thinking. His brain is mush. And I don't even know what to say about this woman. She is crazier than he is, and obviously not in AlAnon - she's out on the street, crazymaking. I am beside myself.
And I am SO done.
I have a call into his therapist to let him know that the blackout period was violated. And that I need to know how to serve him with papers while he's there. They can have each other. I deserve sanity.
Breathe....breathe...breathe....
-- Edited by canadianguy on Monday 18th of February 2013 06:57:56 PM
{{{{{{{blondie}}}}}}}} Don't "tell on him" that's his choice to violate HIS blackout. I know you are hurt and angry, but let him take his falls. By all means let the counselor know papers will be served on him, that's your choice and business and about you. My A violated his blackout too, but that's his doing. When he got out of rehab he was going on about this cool woman he met there, but he told me not to be jealous because she was gay. Whatever. I was hurt, but I stopped and remembered while he was in rehab I was sleeping so well, not crying all the time and I felt good! I love him, but he doesn't love himself. None of the A's love themselves and until they face themselves they won't/can't change. It's a tough road you're on, but you'll make it, we all will. Do what makes you feel good, frees you and connect with your HP especially in the toughest times. We're here for you!
-- Edited by canadianguy on Monday 18th of February 2013 07:04:17 PM
I know something like that can hurt like hell! Yes, I cuss a little bit myself... anyways... just try to find your own path.. and let him walk his own. I would have a ton of questions like yours too, but then I'd go nuts trying figure it all out. Sounds like the A might be a drama freak and life without drinking or drugging is too boring so he figures he can start some for you by phone.??? Maybe its time to say you don't want to hear from him until he has completed treatment, and then you will talk with him with a counselor present, but right now you have some decisions to make for yourself...
Just a suggestion.
(((hugs)))
__________________
" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Oh John and Fool...you are so wise! I took care of myself by going to a f2f...just got home and feel better already :) I think you may be right, John. He called back about 1/2 hour later. And I thought I was a control freak! LOL
can someone explain what the term BLACKOUT means in the posts here? When my husband had BLACKOUTS was when he was drunk and driving, working, having wrecks, etc and lsot several days time. Had no idea what he had been doing for several days.
