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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Breakup question
Post Info TOPIC: Breakup question
Stevey Y


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Hi. I am currently dating a recovering alcoholic. She has been clean and sober for four years now. We have only been dating for not quite two months. She is great, but I don't love her, and think we should break up. She is almost a decade younger than me, and we work together as well. Can anyone give me some advice, I am worried about hurting her, and the fear of her having a relapse. I know this is going to make our workplace a little more tense, although no one there knows we were dating. She is great, just not the one for me. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Stevey Y.

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Afraidparent


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Wow, I think its great Stevey that you are considering her feelings and her sobriety. Try to remember that you aren't the cause of anything she does in the future. It sounds like she may be doing very well if she's been sober for 4 years. She may be able to handle the break up well using sources and resources she may have. If she cares more for than you for her, then a break up may hurt, that's something you can't avoid. You also can't change how you feel. You also can not control how she will react.

Good luck, letting her down as gently as possible is all you can do. By posting and looking here I'd say you have her best interests at heart.


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Debilyn


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If your relationship was based on honesty, then for me I would want to know.

As far as her sobriety nothing we say or do can make them start or stop.

Of course she will hurt, so will you. It's part of exploring and getting to know new people.

Its the chance we take. hugs, come back,Debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Jerry F


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She's got a program and a lot of tools...had them before she started dating you and if she is doing it right she trusts her program more than she trust you...that's the way it works.  It doesn't sound like you are in program as many of us are so the steps, traditions, slogans, Higher Power concept and sponsorship are not a part of your daily beliefs and behaviors.  Trust her program.  If she is doing it right you and the next 100 guys couldn't make her drink or any other fully recovering alcoholic.   Be honest, fair and just and then grateful for her companionship in your life...a program woman is a rare gem...I know cause I know a lot of them.  Good luck (((hugs))) smile



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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Breakup question