The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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level.
I don't get why my A says he is going out, and when I ask him not to, goes anyway, THEN calls me and wakes me up to tell me he is going to another bar. Why bother to call? He didn't care that I didn't want him to go in the first place, so why wake me to tell me where he is going? He says "I am just trying to be a nice guy". There is no use trying to figure it out I guess. I am just awake at 1:00am, and frustrated. Maybe he is going elsewhere and is guilty. Oh well. Thank you for listening.
Thank you or sharing. I also get upset when my husband goes out. He does do it any way. I do hate it. Around here the bars close around 2pm. My husband does come home around 11 but leaves around 8 or 9 and it seems like for ever.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Hello Lill , trying to figure out what or why the alcoholic does anything is a waste of precious time better spent , you will never figure it out you are not alcoholic. Please go to f2f meetings and learn about this disease and what you can do for yourself to not let it destroy you too.
There is nothing you can do about him but alot u can do for yourself , detach with love and get your life back . And you don't have to leave your marriage to do that. Al-Anon will show you how.
the toll free number for info on meetings near you is 1-888-4alanon please call it will change your life. for the better. lines are open 8am -8pm eastern time mon -friday
His drinking has nothing to do with anything you are or are not doing , your not the reason he drinks. We are not powerful enough to make anyone drink OR stop. Regardless of what he may say he drinks because he has a problem period !
Hi Abby and to Leah, Great reminders Abbs - the a is an a as long as they wanna b that. Its the holidays now and no doubt some curious and interesting acting out behaviours are going to b displayed. I do keep chanting the serenity prayer until whatever madness in front of my eyes goes or I can leave instead. And I can and do leave in a hot second. I would be and am in favor of to recover. The a-s keep trying to take me back to the past. Now i have the tools to use to free me and apply them to the a as needed. lol Gentle paths n light n love to all as you go along the way to ur recovery \/\/ille
The alocholic not in recovery is going to drink, that is what they do.
When I went to my first face to face meeting last year I was told that I was living with insanity. Nothing makes sense and boy was this true!
This freed my mind from tyring to figure out WHY my husband did things and start to work on myself.
My sister was getting late phone calls from someone and she would complian to me over dinner - she KNOWS I go to bed early but she still keeps calling and my sister would be mad. I said - why not put your phone on vibrate in the other room and get the sleep you need.
She did this and has not complianed about being disturbed again.
Alanon teaches us to cope
keep coming back
Megan
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
You're right Leah... it makes no sense.... And one of the things we DO learn in our recoveries, is to "stop trying to make sense, out of nonsense".
Most times, it's far better for us to stick to the "whats", instead of trying to figure out the "whys". Most of the answers to those dreaded "why" questions, even if we ever DID figure them out, wouldn't change a darned thing anyway....
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I can definitely drown in the "whys" myself. I cannot of course fix my boyfriend, his mother, his brother, his boss, his friends, the neighborhood, the world, everyone but me. I am last on the list. I have to be first on the list otherwise I won't make it through another year.
