Wrong thoughts this morning - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Wrong thoughts this morning

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Good Monday Morning Everyone

I talked to my son yesterday and it was nice. He is sober but I think it's because he doesn't have a dime to his name.

After the talk my mind started up again thinking maybe I should ask him to clean my property ( weeds, tree trimming) and maybe paint my bedroon....in turn I would pay his rent for January.

I'm thinking I'm starting my enabling thoughts again....

Please tell me NO NO NO......it's only helping me to cope.

Thanks for letting me share

((( hugs )))

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful: he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13).

LeenieBeanie · Senior Member

(((Cathy)))

I know how you are feeling about your son. Please, please take a look at your old posts and just see how far you have come. He may not have hit the bottom yet; offering him money for handiman work will not let him hit bottom. I know your heart is in a million pieces, words cant describe how tragic this is watch your child slide head first and with wild abandon into this abyss. IMHO - Put the focus back on yourself. Get on Angies list and schedule all the work you need done. It will take your mind off your son and back on you, where it belongs.
As they say, take what you like and leave the rest. You know I am pulling for you.

Eileen

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Maybe he can do that work for you and then maybe giving money to an addicted person who may be in the throes of withdrawal isn't such a good idea. At least for me it was never a good idea. He knows how to pay his rent...he has face the question "should I pay my rent or should I use the money to get loaded"? Prayers...good practice at all times not only for the addict and also for your own recovery. "Please God...take this from me"!! ((((hugs)))) smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

You know the answer honey. I am so glad to see you are part of the al anon family. You are so honest and real!

You're doing exactly what you need to do. Allowing your son to have a chance to figure it all out for himself. He has to find out being sober on a program, having a job, a home, a car, a relationship with you, is better than being drunk. Only he can figure it out.

Remember anything we do takes away his chances. You are giving him chances by not doing anything. I know its hard to face that, but you know it is true.

Of course you have wild crazy thoughts we all do! I want to move to my guys state and take care of him now that he is 100% exed from his AW. But that would not be good, he has to heal on his own, he has to figure things out on his own.

I mean really its no favor to anyone sometimes for us to do too much for them. I learned by asking my friends to allow me to figure it all out. Now I can. I mean food, transport etc. I fixed my own well pump, pressure thingy, holding tank, and the electricity to it on my own! If someone saved me, I would not know how and be bragging about it! lol of course HP had everything to do with it. (c:

I invite you to say to yourself when you get these thoughts to tell your pretty head, I choose to allow my son to grow on his own. or whatever fits for you. sending you much love, debilyn

Highlyfavored · Senior Member

Stay strong, with God's help you can do it. I thought I passed my grandson on the street the other day, appearing homeless and pitiful, my heart broke again. When I realized it wasn't him, I thought how sad and painful it will be if it I ever see him like that and what would I do?

This is a dreadful disease, but thank God for ala-non and recovery, I don't know if the pain will ever go away completely, but it's easier to bear. We can do it with (HP) God's help!

Gettingitright!!

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you all so much.....I'm back on track.

"I pray to be released from my compulsion to control my situation.
I have so often proved I am unable to control it. Let me
think, know and feel my powerlessness, then I will at least
learn to let go and let God."

ODAAT Pg: 30

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.