The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For whatever this is worth... i have been on this forum griping, crying and yelling about my A in rehab...whether or not to visit him on family day- his letters etc. Yesterday, I did it- I made the drive to the facility and did the hour visit. Before I left I told myself that I cannot have any expections good or bad and that I would not beat myself up for going...
WOW! I AM SO HAPPY I WENT... I am still in shock as to the difference in my attitude towards him and towards myself after an hour of being around the person I fell in love with.. As crazy as this may sound- it is as if all of the "A" trauma and drama disappeared from my memory. Being around him as the person I fell in love with NOT the vodka induced alter ego I remembered why I loved him and clearly why I have tolerated behavior that no one on the outside can understand.
The soul ties that bonded us together in the first place aren't gone or dead they have just been missing in action thanks to alcohol.
I am trying to be patient with myself and voice myself here....This forum has saved my life on so many levels and made me grateful in a way I never thought possible.
Yet I never gave up on what my "gut" or heart has been telling me...Yesterday I finally for the first time saw the results of not giving up on myself.....Thank you to each and everyone of you for your support, time and love....you have made a difference in my life.
Thanks for sharing your heart. It helps me to understand why my daughter's husband threatens divorce over and over again...and yet comes back for more. I cannot divorce her as my child, but he can as a spouse. You have shed insight and I appreciate your candor. I pray the best for you and your family.
This is exactly how I felt seeing my husband after almost 3 months in rehab. It is amazing to be reminded of the reason you love this person because when they are in the deep of using you just can't! I hope that you continue to share your journey. It has been so helpful to know that I am not alone.
I will give a quick update on my situation as well. My husband has been home from rehab for 3 weeks and it has been the best 3 weeks we have had in years. He has been doing intensive outpatient along with attending meetings. The rehab has also been contacting him everyday to check in with him. I have been going to f2f meetings and coming here everyday. I am working on my old behaviors...especially trying to schedule and control everything. I have really backed off, which has been very difficult at times but I feel good. I know there will be issues but I am just taking things one day at a time.
