The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Most days I'm able to get myself out of the dumps, by praying, or doing something nice for myself. I don't even feel that I can do that today. I am so overwhelmed by so much today. My AH has been a bear all week...playing his typical passive aggressive role of victim. My son, whose friend past away in September, is really having a tough time with life right now. He finally agreed to go to counseling, so I'll be arranging that. I am sleep deprived, stressed out, and haven't had a day off of working since the beginning of January. Now, today, I learned that we owe Federal income taxes. I was hoping to take a vacation this summer, since I haven't had one since February of 2009. Between paying my husband's hospital bills from his open heart surgery last year, and all of the DUI charges, there really aren't the resources to do anything. I'm so tired of living paycheck to paycheck. It's so hard to stay strong when I feel like all I am doing is dodging arrows coming my way. Forget trying to receive any compassion from my AH because everything is about him, and the moment I cry or I'm not Miss Susie Sunshine, he tells me to get a grip. I'm missing my parents who are 2000 miles away. I feel like I could really use a hug from my Mom right now. But, she doesn't even know what is going on because I haven't told her about my AH's DUI. I'm worried for both of my parents and their health right now. This week at work has been horrible, with nothing but problems and fires to put out, and I feel like my stress level is over the top. I guess I just need to rant here, and really could use some prayers. Thank you, friends.
Sending prayers and a Big (((hug))) your way Annie. It does sound like you have quite a bit on your plate. Take it a day at a time, one thing at a time. Set aside the thought of the taxes for now, maybe that can be addressed next month prior to April and after some other things are caught up. You may also be able to work out a payment plan with them if you call and explain your circumstances. Just some ideas there. I understand working so hard and no time off, the pressures there while your mind is fuzzy from dealing with the AH, in my case the AD. Work seems much harder and we have less patience due to what's going on with the one who Thinks they require most of our attention. Try to set your AH aside for a few days. Don't engage him, if you need to cry and don't want him to be rude because of it take a drive have a good cry and buy yourself your favorite treat. Maybe going back home won't be so hard afterwards.
Prayers to you and I hope you can etch out a spot this weekend just for you.
You got the prayer when I woke up Annie and I'll share a gratitude with you. When I woke up I was grateful for all of the life that the disease has not stolen from my wife and I and that we have sooooo many members in the fellowship who stand by and with us in mutual support. I cannot focus on what we don't have because what we do have often overwhelmes it. You're in the prayers. (((((hugs)))))
Wow, you're in a touch situation. I am so sorry, and I understand. I remember when my life got so difficult that I actually quit answering the phone. Everything just kept falling apart day after day. I would wake up and say, "OK, what $%&@ is going to hit the fan today?" It was one literally one disaster after another and it just went on and on like that for months. It was a nightmare. I was like you, dodging one arrow after another. To this day, I STILL do NOT EVER listen to my voicemails. I went through such a hard time and it really scarred me - it sounds silly, but I have a phobia of my voicemail. I went through a long period of time where all I received was bad news and ugly voicemails, and so now, 9 years later, I can't ever bare to check them. It was like a full-on assault and that is what it sounds like you are going through and I am so sorry. I remember - not to say things are great now, but those were VERY dark days for me. It is so hard. Hang in there. Hopefully some more senior members can offer words of wisdom. Sending you hugs and about to say a prayer for you -
Hi Annie, it sounds like a bit too much all at once. Maybe you need some quiet time to work the steps. I always feel better this way. It's like I get relief from life. There may be some problems you can let go and let God.x
I know you are strong Annie, but we all have those days that feel like too much for us to bear. Sending you prayers and support...hoping that the positives (your son will go to counseling) will outweigh negatives ( won't list any of those :) )
Sometimes one day at a time is too much, and that's when I think of a half day, few hrs, or please let me get through the next minute or so!
