The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For the second time in 2 years he is back in jail for alcohol related stupidity. We were unable to live together months ago due to the alcohol related drama, verbal abuse, threats, damaged property and physical abuse. When sober he was a different person, like Jeckel and Hyde. We tried to make it work despite the drinking, but before he went to jail this time I said "NO MORE, ITS THE BOOZE OR ME". He flat out told me the booze, so I cut him out of my life. I have no words for the pain of being second to the bottle. He tried to contact me before going to jail, claiming to love me, I had to block many numbers and now have a restaining order. I have since joined alanon. Thankfully i find it very helpful to realize I am not alone. Accepting I am powerless to the drinking has lifted a weight and burden for me. I am waiting for the bitterness and resentment to go as well! Working on healing myself and moving on is my focus, I want to stay strong because he gets released in a week and i am afraid! Afraid of how far he will take it and more afraid of going back. My friends deserted me for not giving up months ago and I have no supports. Some kind words of encouragement are needed.
So happy that you found us and are attending alanon face to face meetings. We understand the heartache and sadness that goes along with caring for someone who has the disease of alcoholism
Meetings, Sponsor, Steps and the slogans and most importantly a faith in a Higher Power were my key to freedom and the rebuilding of self esteem. As I changed I was able to form new constructive friendships based on respect and caring not need and manipulation
Aloha Heather and welcome also. You've got a good start on the journey to recovery. I'm always amazed at how slow I "got it" compared to some others and then I've learned in program not to compare...just be glad I "got it" when I did. You've done some good stuff already and for the meantime look to the meetings and literature to give youj support on the issue of fear. It worked for me cause I was so very fear based when I started. This is a disease, a primary disease. It is not a symptom of something else and has major symptoms of its own. He will have his needs if he wants to have a sober life of his own and hopefully some of it will come to him while he is in jail as a consequence of his very own choices. AA is often found in jails. Good to have you here. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
Have faith in yourself..you were strong enough to say the booze or me....he chose the booze....so many do. The priorities of alcoholics are totally screwed up...we love and give, and continue to love and give and when it gets down to brass tacks they chose the booze...Obviously that is not clear thinking..consider that he is making this decision while his mind is muddled by booze...
Remember...all you have to do is today....you can do today, and face tomorrow when it arrives...One day at a time...just one day......you CAN DO IT!!
Reading your messages brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes the sadness overwhelms. I thank you for your kind words and wisdom to help me stay strong. I have given in to him before and want a better life for myself, a life I can not have with him because of the drinking.
