The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my sponsor said 'many are called a few are chosen' struck a chord with me. alanon is such a fabulous program, it is changing my life. why do some people not 'get' it and why did i not get it sooner? could have saved so much misery.
They say we get it when we are ready, I have got it and lost it times, it comes and goes with me, but once you do have it is always there within you, some of my very dear loved ones never got it, I can't do anything about that, but the ones that do get it seem to be extraordinary people, I hope my son turns into a Jerry F, and writes on here one day, where there is life there is hope.
Yah...There are only a few of us that progress to having the 12 steps be a way of life for us. When it's AA, I almost feel survivor guilt cuz so many folks just do not stick with it or the never make it there.
To me, one of the BEST things about our programs is that they are not a forced outcome, and we are always left with the dignity of choice.... There are precious few (if any) "shoulds" or "must do's" in Al-Anon, so our program is one of gentle guidance, encouragement, and support....
With the above in mind, the fact is that some people can "get it" relatively right away, others take a bit of time, others take a LOT of time, and some never get it - just speaks to the human element involved.... We are all different, we come with a variety of belief systems, pain tolerances, and levels of willingness to look internally....
Some awesome affirmations that I love to use, to help me keep my eyes on the here & now, and not taking too much time on the past, would include:
I did the best I could, with what I knew at the time...
It's okay to look at the past, just don't stare....
Self-awareness is great, but be sure to stop short of self-mutilation....
Take care
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
To echo Katy we arrive when we are supposed to. I dated a lot of A's and never realized my pattern, or that Al-Anon existed. Then I got married and I was looking to say that I had tried everything I could before leaving him. So I went to an Al-Anon meeting.
I'm still married, and for me, and my story, I found my contentment whether my A is drinking or not. I love that I've been given the tools, and by attending meetings, and working the steps, and reading, I continue to make the next right choices for me!
I do not want to be disagreeable here, but reading the words "A Chosen few" I was taken back to my childhood . I remember hearing sermons on this very subject and at the tender age of 9 or 10 deciding that this was extremely elitist attitude and in my child like world decided that I would NEVER be One of the Chosen few. If that was the case I would reject religion and God before they or He had a chance to reject me. I made this decision that ruled my life for so very long at such a young and never challenged it. Thank goodness for my 4th and 5th Step because it was revealed that this was the exact nature of some of my deeply imbedded defects. I and am grateful HP has lifted this.
As far as I am concerned many are called -- meaning many are shown the program or the road and few remain on it because it is hard and difficult not because they have not found favor.
The alanon program talks easy but walks hard. It requires a decision to keep showing up , practicing the tools, falling down and getting back up having faith and a willingness to learn a new way of life. It is not magic It takes a great deal of work and the rewards are many. It is available to all who are willing Not just the CHOSEN.
I never thought of it like that. I think if I'm 'chosen' maybe years living with my a ex has not been totally in vain. My chaotic life almost destroyed me but instead I got alanon. So for me maybe that's my compensation.
