The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I'm letting go of my son I find I have nothing to do anymore. No more late night calls, not hospitals or detox centers, no spending money or taking him somewhere or picking him up or talking and arguing, no visits so he won't drink, no making him come to my house so he won't drink. No craziness.
I"M LOST LOL I'm bored
What to do with me now. I have to rebuild my life. Have to find a hobby. Need to find friends, need to plan a vacation. Maybe fix the house...my bedroom needs painting..hehe
I need to get busy busy busy or I will start the craziness all over again.
Just a share but WOW how my life was so consumed with my son.
Thank you anyone for the support when I am down....((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I agree with you and oh how I was bored after I left the exAH and all the drama that came with monitoring a grown man. Time to make a list of all the things you want to do and see. I had fun once I got started on my life and now I am so crazy busy, but love where I am headed. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Cathy sounds like nice choices much better and more serene than the ones you have already faced.if I were you I'd decorate my bedroom. I want pink flowers, not sure why.lol
Good morning Cathy, I was thinking the exact same thing, was thinking how much of my life i spend worrying about my son and I have been kind of in limbo this last week or so, now he is out there on his own, I find myself waiting anxsiay for news and basing my mood on how he is doing, no good for me, I was mopesing about yesterday and decided to make a start on my half finished dinning room, it was very theraputic, I put the radio on and sang along, i thought to myself I have really missed this I should do it more, I think of my son as a litte baby bird that has been pushed out of the nest to learn to fly, our sons know we love them and I am going to smile for mine and yours today and everyone else who struggles with this, it's called tough love, and it's the right thing to do, ((((((hug's)))))x
Hi Cathy, It is great to read you list of the many lovely cosseting things that you are thinking of doing for yourself - and what fun to be planning a vacation and paint colours at the same time! I shall be imagining you pouring over colour charts and brochures of lovely destinations while I finish off my second tapestry and plan a lecture for my new students. Have a good day!
After I left my XAH (30 yr marriage) I made a conscious effort to find myself. I felt that I had lost myself, ever so slowly along the way....the joy and delight in life that I had always had, had eroded.....it was been exhilerating to find the happy girl (and I use THAT term loosely!!! LOL!) that I once was instead of the controlling mad, sad woman I had become. My children have noticed the difference and one of the (many) regrets I have is that I cannot turn back the hands of time and let them have the happier me as a mom as they were growing up. However, as they are now adults, I think our relationships are better and stronger as they get to get acquainted with the real me that I allowed to get overpowered by all the craziness....
Enjoy the journey Cathy..sounds like you are in a good place and I am happy for you.
Cathy, I recently spent time with my AH's aunt who is 67 right now but she doesn't look it to me. Her husband(AH's uncle) passed away from a heart attack 6 years ago unexpectedly, 4 months after he retired. She mourned his loss but got on with her life and she is the busiest person I've ever met and she doesn't even have a job. She volunteers, she helps with grandkids, she dines with friends, she has a new boyfriend now, she takes mini vacations every so often alone, etc. She hasn't let loneliness or boredom control her happiness or her passion for life at all.
When we stop enabling and stop jumping in to rescue our addicts, we go through a mourning process as well. When my dad died last year at the age of 62, his wife got busy doing stuff: fixing the kitchen, painting the living room, selling off crap she didn't want or need anymore, etc. Now, she's got 3 men whom she juggles with her free time, LOL! Cathy, you will move on with your life no matter what happens to or with your son. You're the only one who gets to live it so it sounds like you're on the right track. Hey, I took up knitting a few years ago and I was getting all angry at how difficult it was and frustrated at my technique and my AH says, "I thought you took up knitting to help you relax? You're throwing a fit just trying to tie a knot, LOL!" He was right, but hey, it was something to do, LOL! FYI: I did finally learn the basics of knitting and I've made shawls, baby blankets, hats, and tons of scarves!
Was wondering how things were going. So glad you're bored at the moment. Take that time. Have fun for You first and maybe as time goes and life Finally stays quiet for you, you'll see the doors that have opened and you'll be ready to step through them. I am here today because I'm a nervous wreck. My AD tried to contact me yesterday and I ignored and deleted. I can see by her IM icon she is at work. So yay for that. However, I WANT TO REACH out soooo much its painful. One key stroke will let me know she's okay, one key stroke will let her know I love her, and one key stroke will destroy what I'm trying to do. I have got to stay strong. I want to be in your position sooner rather than later. I want peace. I want serenity and definitely want to be bored at times!
