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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Trying, Trying, Trying
Post Info TOPIC: Trying, Trying, Trying
Afraidparent


Veteran Member

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Posts: 43
Date:
Trying, Trying, Trying
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Trying so hard today to work the program.  Received text messages and voice mails when I got up all from 1-3 a.m.  You know the times.  When the A is out and could care less others need sleep and work.  Several months ago I put the phone on vibrate and leave in another room far from our bedroom.  I've told our daughter I will not answer, I will not come, no point in calling or having friends call. 

Still she tries. 

She blew off her 2nd counseling appt. yesterday. I'm assuming this as I've had no conversations with her, just judging from the texts and her being out all night. 

She apparently made it into work as she Instant Messaged me:  "Just so you know if anything happens to me all my stuff goes to you as my beneficiary, my house, car, work accounts, etc". 

I didn't reply.  I closed it and kept working.  However it sends the mind reeling doesn't it?  Is she threatening suicide, insinuating she's going to do something....or did she simply sign up for a plan at work and is just letting me know.  I wouldn't have to wonder if I didn't have an AD. 

I want to reply.  I want to talk to her.  I can't stand to talk to her.  I love her and I despise what she's doing.  Let go, Let God.  God loves her too.  I know this.  Her HP can help her through this better than I can.  Not a single thing I've said or done has worked its only kept me in her chaos. 

I read a good post the other day.  That it is always best to offer AA literature or remind the person only there is help out there and leave it at that. No matter what is said.  I always Intend to leave her alone until she seeks help.  I am strong for a brief period and she'll finally push a button that either gets me to respond negatively or positively.  I can Not continue to do this. 

I need a self program like another posted today.  I'm going to work on that.  Let go, Let God.  Sanity and Serenity.  Keep my boundaries.  Working on it ALL.  Hope some day it gets easier to do.  cry

 



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Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3026
Date:
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It is good you posted here instead of the call to her. See it's starting to work. That's what I do before I make the decision to call or text my son.

It works, if you work it and your worth it.

(((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Highlyfavored


Senior Member

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Posts: 164
Date:
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Hi!  I feel your pain, my adult daughter is also a/a, I've been through the whole 9 yards.  What I'm learning is detach, detach,  say "no" and mean it.  Take care of yourself. Pray.  Go to f/f meetings.  It'll get better, your faith and God's power is all you need.

Gettingitright!!



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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time.  And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers

Gettingitright!
lgnutah


Senior Member

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Posts: 282
Date:
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Your daughter's situation sounds so much like mine--but at least yours goes to work....

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