The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am fresh into a relationship (1.5 months) with a freshly recovering addict (6 months sober). I have been told the dangers of dating someone so early in their recovery and have read countless stories (both bad and good) about doing so. I have heard the tales of emotional rollercoasters and being held an emotional hostage. That is not why I am here. She is worth it to me and nothing short of her own actions will convince me otherwise. With that being said, I am here because I am curious if Al-Anon still applies to my situation? From my general interpertation of it's purpose, I feel it might help me in some way learn, share, and work through some of the thoughts in my head and hear from people who have dealt with similar or identical situations.
My girlfriend takes her AA meetings very seriously and I honestly appreciates my willingness to go with her, make sure she is getting there on time, etc. Seeing the love, support, and possibilites from those meetings I feel that a meeting of my own with people who are dealing with similar relationships might help me out.
Any advice, suggestions, or comments are welcome.
Thank you for taking the time to read, even if you have nothing to say. :)
Aloha S...the hotline number for Al-Anon in your are should be in the white pages of your local telephone book. Al-Anon for the friends, family and associates of alcoholics and other chemically addict people is in almost every country on this planet. Give yourself a fair shake and try to get to as many meetings as you can over the next 90 days. I did 102 when I first got to the doors of Al-Anon and stil the disease of alcoholism destroyed everything in our way including my ability to think sanely and make plans against what others would tell me would and was happening in my marriage. Alcoholism is a cunning, powerful and baffling disease.
Some of the tools you will need are a Power Greater than Yourself, a meeting list, Al-Anon Literature, A sponsor and a commitment to keep coming back. She's got 6 month of being dry...how many years does she have under the influence? Make sure you don't get in the way between her and her Higher Power and her Sponsor.
You came to the right place, and keep coming back. Also, a Face to Face meeting is so beneficial for you. While she is working on her, you can be working on you. Being involved with an alcoholic, in any stage of their use or recovery, can be so challenging. It's important for you to learn the tools you need to stay healthy for yourself. I'm glad you found us.
Good place to be in. I'll spare you my horror story as well - each person is their own individual however the disease of alcoholism is mostly the same.
Please come here so you will learn the tools that will help you allow her to be in charge of her recovery. Welcome, great place and the face to face meetings will add a great deal more as well.
I feel that the program is something EVERYONE should do LOL Us who are in relationship with alcoholics are the lucky ones.....we qualify ! Alcoholics don't think the same way as others. Its good to learn about how different they are ...and thats ok.... But this program is not about that .... its about finding our own way through life and its various difficulties. Its about how and why we enjoy relationships with these damaged people and how to cope with theirs and our own damage. (I believe most people are damaged in some way....its what makes us human)
I've also spent many an evening in open AA too. I find it really helpful to hear THEIR story and get to know how they think. For me its a form of communication with my husband. He can't always voice things directly to me....but can identify with other peoples stories. I find I can identify with stories too. It all sounds very familiar....but isn't about my husband so I find it much easier to empathise instead of becoming resentful about what he finds difficult, which can feel directed at me.
Don't know if that makes sense.
Conventions are also brilliant. As a couple they are something we can do together and enjoy. They are often held in nice areas so we can make it into a real close weekend away. Alcoholics feel safe around other alcoholics....so as a couple its somewhere we can really relax.
Really hope you enjoy the meetings....we're all insane you know LOL....but they are mostly very friendly x
