The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last monday I called my exA to see if he could take my 16 yo to an important counseling appointment on the following monday (tomorrow). He is SO sick with pneumonia...he made sure to let me know he cannot walk, he cannot breathe...OH POOR HIM! I said, okay, the appointment isnt until next week though. We left it that I would check with him on Sunday. I called him this morning, and he was ALL put out about it...
then he started in with "I told you for months (our son) needed to see this guy, and YOUR JOB was too important to schedule it for him...and now I'm the bad guy because I can't take him"
If I could have spit fire, I would have. I reminded him that I am working extra to pay the bills and feed the children. He started disparaging me, so I hung up on him. Then he sends me a text " thanks for your concern. I was wasting what little breath I have."
What a prick.
I really do hate him some days. and I'm not sorry that I am fresh out of compassion for his self-induced situation.
God, I know how you feel. Not sure I can offer any help but I have given up. He plays no role in our kids lives and I ask him for nothing because him constantly letting us down was affecting my serenity.x
When I am compeled to take another persons inventory, which isn't as often as it use to be, I do my own. Al-Anon has taught me mercy for the things I have done and haven't done that have made my day a mess. It has also given me the courage to change the things I can. I was invited earlier this afternoon to blame my wife and to interfere in her misery with something which was so very not important (for me) and then I checked out how it was affecting my mind and emotions and stopped. I sooo don't like that sick feeling anymore when I have a choice not to. She will and has responded much better when I stay off of her back. ((((hugs))))
I now know that EXPECTATIONS are premeditated resentments.
When it comes to a drinking A there are no expectations of them that will lead to anything but resentments.
We KNOW we can't rely on them. so trying is simply self harm ?
When it comes to anything important, especially around children I learned its best just to leave my AH out of it. He's never remembered anything for more than a day and even then something that was about him would take priority.
Why do we put ourselves through it?
Step one says we are powerless over people places and things....and our AH. Our lives become unmanageable when we try to rely on them. We are asked to keep our focus on our own needs and to take responsibility for what is ours....
