The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Harassment is the only way I can describe it. My AH had me as a captive audience in the car to day. I couldn't escape. He just kept telling me how his LPN who prescribes his mental health meds said she could write me a referral for a psychiatric evaluation. Then he said that she was not happy that I called her when he wacaught hit huffing by our daughter. Yeah pprobably not happy with him if she has any ounce of brains in her head!
First of all, why does he think I even cwhat how she feels about my actions? I am not on this earth to make her happy. She is on this earth to help people like my AH which she is not doing a very good job of, by the way.
Second of all, if I hear one more time that I need a psych evaluation, I haven't end up in the loony bin. How many times can a person hear something before it becomes a reality? I now he makes these under his breath comments to my daughter and she laughs. I told her that I didn't appreciate her feeding into his verbal abuse. I also reminded her how she treats her friends and that she wouldn't let someone talk that way about her friends. I just want to feel safe and loved and I don't at all. I am trying so hard to act like it doesn't bother me but its very hard and he does it and then acts like we should be buddy buddy and then gets mad at me when I won't talk to him.
I try hard notout talk about him to the kids, but they need to know that it's not okay to be mean and/or make fun of people behind their backs.
So sorry that you were subjected to that type of treatment today It is certainly unnerving.
Living with the disease of alcoholism we all become irritable and unreasonable without even knowing it. We are certainly not perfect and do develop coping tools that are destructive. We REACT to our world instead of acting in our own best interests. . We, like the alcoholic NEED a recovery program . Alanon offers us this program of support and recovery
The Steps are our road to freedom and recovery The Second Step says :"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" This is clear admission that we need to find ourselves and restore our emotional well being
I would not be so upset when it is suggested that I might need a evaluation for mental health . I would validate myself and the children and say naturally the entire family needs support and eval we have all been tainted by this dreadful disease and need new tools to re build our self esteem and lives I have found that help and am addressing my recovery..
It sounds like you are putting up with a very childish and mean person. Not sure when or how you intend to get away from him, but it's not right to have to be around someone so actively trying to hurt you.
I think you're doing a good job of standing your ground and not getting sucked into believing you're "the crazy one." I like the friends analogy you gave your daughter concerning her unacceptable behavior. You made it clear that you have self respect. As far as what her father is saying to you, maybe he's just projecting. Who knows... maybe the nurse suggested psychiatric help for him and he's angry about it. Either way, who really cares.. right? Be proud if you're not engaging in the antics currently going on in your house. It hurts just the same I know. Hugs! Your responses to the A and your daughter show sanity not insanity. If you react at times, it's to be expected when in the presence of lies, unkindness and misery making. We can only work our program one day at a time. Some days we do a better job than other days at holding onto our serenity. Alanon meetings and reaching out this way and to my higher power most times helps me turn my sad feelings to feeling valued and loved. I hope sharing here with us has helped you too. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I took this for years and was told I was too sensitive and take life too seriously, he had his friends joining in too. Sad thing is I believed him. God I had forgotten that. What a sad man, bullying tactics to make himself feel better.
I read in alanon that we always question the motives of the abuser and they do not speak truth so then we say things like oh I'm sorry you feel that way. It loses power and they stop or we wake up. I've woken up and he has no power and I truly see how sad, weak and pathetic he is. Now to work on compassion.x
