The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been feeling a little down but am seeming to get back up! Financial situations have brought me down because my AH has been worrying again... I just try to let it go & let God one day at a time. I also have been feeling a little stupid lately. I am just saying that I feel that way...I am not depressed just frustrated. I feel like my mind is moving too fast & I have to slow down mentally & feel better. I have a tendency to put myself down. I have to remember that I am not alone. I sometimes want to be unique because I can't imagine anyone being so out-of-sorts like me. I guess I have to give myself credit for my ability to help others so I don't feel so left out of society. Yes, I have been pretty positive for the most part lately. I have to re-focus my thoughts & even if I have to fake it to make it, I will.
So, my relationships are pretty strong so I don't feel like I am missing out on something. There are so many people to thank for my recovery. The other day, totally unrelated, I found out that a friend got the surgery I got in 2010. I have a lot to share w/ her but I hope I can help & emphathize w/ her w/o getting to involved w/ her & her recovery. A note or card will suffice as she is not a close friend.
So, now I sit here wondering what to do next. Any suggestions? I will be OK. I have to be. I can't share my ESH w/ anyone if I am not sure that I am doing OK. That seems to be a requirement for my recovery. So, I am trying to be a support system. I want to "get out of myself" for a change.
Hi Kathleen. I think when I've felt as you've described I've had to remind myself that serenity is found in this day only. Just for today I will be ok. Progress not perfection. Theres a reading in courage to change that talks about an auto pilot....and how it doesn't plot a straight line. It weaves right and left, going off the straight narrow line and correcting itself constantly when it finds it is not moving in the right direction.
I think thats definately how my recovery journey is, weaving away from a balanced recovery while I cope with being down.....or codependant. My serenity is about re finding my balance. My Higher Power helps me with it.
When life is unmanageable its because I've gone off course and need to bring my focus back to me. Its amazing how quickly I can begin to obssess over people places and things.
I do think though that experience is about doing it wrong and learning from it? Working the program and then working it again as different situations arise....
If I'm not sure what to do next ....for any reason.... I go out for a coffee with my sponsor. She is really good at putting things in perspective x
