The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Regarding the request for family to complete the client questionnaire, first of all client #202 and myself arent family, we "xxxx". Second, whatever insight I have to offer in the overall scheme of his treatment isnt worth a pinch of monkey "xxxx".
In the event client #202 is lying, even by omission to the treatment staff he knows that and is also aware he is wasting his time and money.
If that is the case and he is not disclosing then I would highly recommend giving him an apple and a road map and sending him on his way.
Best Regards,
XXXXXXX
After I composed this letter which clearly could stand some "business polishing"- I forwarded it to a friend whose reply read as such:
Depending on destination, perhaps an apple is not enough. There is a law on the state of XXXXXX books to this day that states: upon discharge from jail, when asked for, the state is required by law to give the leaving inmate 2 bits and a horse. Perhaps the ante should be upped slightly to make an acceptable departure. That is if the law is applicable to rehab facilities.
I think I am a little angry tonight!
-- Edited by canadianguy on Wednesday 30th of January 2013 11:56:20 AM
Rehabs can work for folks that need that time just to get a leg up on sobriety. I didn't go to rehab when I got sober. I went to meetings daily and worked my butt off to get sober. It will be apparent if he is doing that shortly after or even during this rehab. Even then, some folks will be working a solid recovery and they just chronically let the disease sneak back in and they just stop participating in recovery. It's not that rehab or AA doesn't work, it's that the person stops working the recovery that's offered. The saying is "It works when you work it." Both of you are perfectly reasonable in reaching the point in your boundaries where you feel dubious or doubtful about their recovery. Furthermore, being involved with a sober addict still has it's issues cuz they pass through a phase of being super self-centered during early recovery and that's as bad almost as when they were using. Next, we often have to live regimented lives where we self-impose discipline and meetings and other things that we literally HAVE to do to maintain recovery. It is a lot to ask another person to put up with. It helps to be true to yourself and make spiritual choices relying on your HP as to whether or not you have it in you to stay with such a person (recovery or not).
Of course alanon will recommend you spend a few months going to meetings, getting grounded, and making sound discoveries and plans so that if the time comes to leave, you are going about things from a calm place and you have more options or at least more awareness of options. The decisions you might make while burning with anger might not be as logical as the ones you would make after a few months of alanon meetings and building a larger support network. Nonetheless, many of us make decisions to leave BECAUSE we are at the point of being fed up so much that we just can't take it any more. Waiting longer can sometimes prolong your own "bottom" so to speak because their disease progresses over time and the longer you wait, many times that means you are putting up with or living with the disease being worse than it was a few months ago, a year ago...
Only you can decide, but definitely prayer, alanon meetings, sponsorship and your own recovery can help you get to the spot you really want to be at. It's not fun to be angry all the time even if it's justifiable.
Thanks for the laugh, New Woman. In general, there is not much humor on here--people are too hurt, I think. That had to feel good and aren't you lucky to have a friend who can respond in kind! I think you are going to be fine!
Hugs, Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
