First off the whole family is sick, I have the flu and the kids have bacterial ear infections.  My son is the worst out of the two of them.  He is also running a fever.  They are on antibotics.  I'm sucking it up. 

I was informed over this past weekend that SBTAX went to church and he's compelled to tell me he's sorry, (I'm confused on which part he's sorry for of course that was never reached) he of course will pay me the money he owes .. LOL.  I sit and shake my head over how pathetic he truly is at this point and time.  Anything to make it all go away, anything for me to tell him what a good guy I think he is .. ummm .. no.  I'm compelled to say .. show me the money.  I no longer see him as a person and part of my recovery will be getting to that point.  Tom posted something earlier about anger not being pretty .. no it's not .. I'm sitting here looking at my youngest child's face and his upper and bottom lips are slipt.  This is after the same child asked him to buy him kleenex (both he and my daughter had to use papertowels, had I been aware of this I would have sent what I had with them yesterday). 

First off I asked him to take my daughter to the dr, please keep in mind he TOTALLY had the time as he was laid off for two weeks AND there was another shut down for another two weeks.  So he's been at home with his mother (I do snicker when I write this .. I'm sure that's been a LOAD of fun, bell and all).  I was informed that no he's not taking her and now we are dealing with a bunch of other stuff because I trusted him and I am kicking myself for believing him.  He hasn't paid me anything, unless you count 200$ since 12/28 so I haven't had money to take them to the dr.  The meds I need to get are 139$ insurance doesn't cover it.  That is for me.  Of course he grills me and my daughter is horrified says to me MOM .. I told him you were sick and went to work anyway.  I told him you had the flu.  The dr wrote me out of work until Monday and I may need extra time .. I don't know .. I'm trying to make sure I keep up on the fluids and that D is as well.  We have had a fun day together .. we gamed for a long time!  My house is a disaster is putting it mildly. 

He is in an out and out panick trying to rationalize with me to be reasonable.  My atty will be filing contempt charges and he is still insistant on calling his atty trying to get money out of him.  He is totally unaware that both my atty and the secretary have been out sick with the flu this past week.  So nothing is going to happen with "his" tax money.  He doesn't get that's no longer "his" tax money and when that bomb hits I don't want to be near the vacinity.  It is not going to be pretty.  He is going to be sooooo angry.  I hope he's 1/4 angry as I am looking at my baby's face wondering what kind of idiot thinks that is ok.  A diseased on I get that .. one that can't go abover his own agenda and boy oh boy does he have one now.

What am I going to do?  Get my popcorn out and watch the show.  I've done everything I can to stay out of it.  I'm soooo tired of him looking like the poor guy who is just so put upon that he needs to step up and stop being a dead beat dad.  I'm sure I will have a different perspective when I feel better .. right now .. it's very difficult not to want to punish him.  I couldn't take the kids to the dr becasue I didn't have the money, couldn't get scripts, thankfully I was able to inisist he miss work and take care of this stuff. 

This last weekend he drops the kids off tells me D is sick and then proceeds to just leave.  The classic thing is this .. he sees my son at school and walks right by him after saying Hi.  Who does this?  He was buying food from a school program there never mind that he hasn't paid a dime towards anything regarding their school.  I'm the one that has made that happen.  Never asked him how he was, if he felt ok and so on.  I was dumbfounded to say the least.  Ignored my daughter completely, then made a terrible comment to the dr about her, she wouldn't speak since he was there .. UGH.  Nothing like putting someone else at ease.  Of course now he's all about kissing my butt and he really doesn't get a little to little a little to late.  Talk to the hand.  I've got to find something to do with th anger.  The only thing I can think about doing is scratching his eyes out. 

Thanks for letting me vent.

P :)