Well, I've been in therapy for almost 3 years now.  I know I'm co-dependent and working on that.  I'm working on myself and self-esteem as a result of the abuse, chaos and trauma too.  I am divorced and have been dating - here and there.  So, I finally catch a break and meet a nice guy.  I mean nice guy.  Paramedic, not a big drinker, no drugs, kind, considerate, respectful.  I find him to be attractive and we have great conversations.  Everything I keep SAYING I want.

So what do I do?  Almost blow it!  We just started seeing each other and he's been super sweet and respectful and we are supposed to be taking it slow to get to know each other.  We have a lot in common!  So last night I just have to push the envelope and get a little fiesty via text.  He pushed back in a very respectful way and asked me to stop.  I did and I heard him and he was right.  I don't even think I realized what I was doing.  I am so conditioned to be treated a certain way it's like auto pilot!  Here she is!  Treat her like a sex object (even though she hates that) and don't respect her as a person (even though she wants that) and the list could go on...

Well, HP.  I heard you loud and clear.  Lesson learned.  Something to discuss in therapy.  Going to try to keep it in check because honestly, this seems like the kind of relationship that could last for a while and I don't want to blow it either! 

Just thought I'd share.  Sometimes I feel like I am out of the woods and then damned if I don't turn around and I'm smack in the middle of them again!