I did not freak out. I went to bed after reading al-anon books. He called me at 12:30 at night telling me he failed which I already assumed since he didn't call me at bedtime like he normally does, I just told him I was sleeping and would call him the next day. I woke up thinking about it so I, took a hot soak in the tub and did some more reading. I went to work and later called him on my break like I normally would and he told me he felt really sick and that he was very disappointed in himself, I just listened and did not try to micro manage like I used to. He said he was calling his sponsor and redoubling his effort since he learned how easily it snuck back in when he let his guard down. My biggest issue is we just had a nice dinner together and I worry I am a distraction for him, but my sponsor told me I don't have to change anything especially since we live a distance away and are taking things slow and she pointed out how I can be working on my codependency. This is really making me use my tools I have been acquiring the last 2 years. It is good to hear him working a program and oh man is it hard to keep my hands off his program. I am making sure not to make him feel any worse, which I used to be a pro at when he would blow it. I am seeing and learning a lot about myself right now and am loving this new me. I am thinking for a long while before speaking or reacting, I am taking care of myself instead of making a crisis out of this and I am choosing not to waste too much energy on obsessing over him and his slip. I love the changes going on in my life right now! Okay back to studying, I have 5 classes I am taking right now and two kids just getting over the flu.