The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been 3 week since I've seen my son and a couple since I last talked to him. In this time I have been doing good in letting go without the fear and getting better every day. I have finally realized that what I have been doing all this time only made my life worse and didn't help one bit...I HAVE FINALLY COME TO TERMS WITH IT. Stop all the enableing and helping with EVERYTHING he can do for himself. It's hard but I'm strong with God's help.
I pray going forward that I will continue to work on me so I can be happy again....no matter what is going on with my son. I don't just want to live day by day in limbo but to enjoy life. It's been a long time and I know now I have to do this or I will just die a lonely sad woman.
I will pray for him everyday that he will come back to me so we are family again. I love him and will always love him SO I am finally letting go and letting God take over. I pray someday he come back to a healthy loving son.....this I can DO...pray.
Program, practice, prayer, love and kindness .....I'm coming along.
My sincere thanks and prayers for all on MIP in recovery.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Letting go over obsessing over him will free you up for more healthy endeavors and I am sure your HP has wonderful things planned for you. It's going to be all good Cathy!!
I find we are all different and some of us can let go sooner than others . I know now I would not be able to move forward until I completely let go. I tried so hard thinking I could help him and also take care of me and he would get well......it never happen. It didn't work...it never will.
I read this book called " Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children" by Allison Bottke. It helped me.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
cathy, im happy for you.you are so right obsessing and worrying takes away your serenity. have you heard of a god box? the idea is you write down your worries and post them to god. x
cathy, i am in a similar situation with my AS. he is spiraling downhill rapidly in the past year. he lost his wife, children and job all within a year. i was focusing so much on him that i found i couldn't live. he said something totally awesome to me recently. "mom, don't you think people should focus on what makes them happy rather than what someone else is doing or NOT doing?" i have been in alanon many years. and it took my active, alcoholic sons words to hit the nail on the head. i read your posts and have to say, i have noticed your progress. praying for peace for you today. debbie
My son is the same age as your son. He has never been married and has no children so that I can be thankful for. What your son said is right on. My son has also said something to that effect before to me but I didn't get it. I know now what I need to do no matter what happens to him. I'm going to be sick when he is homeless but if that's his choice I'm not going to stop him..
Take care and thank you all for the words of hope.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
You are doing great. It is so hard to let go. A little different situation as mine is my AH. But I came to realize that I was loving him to death. I had to get out of his way and allow him the right to work on himself. It is never easy.....
Fantastic news. I have had to forgive myself for all the people pleasing I did. I understand completely why and how I did that. I do not think I caused anyone harm by it but myself. Giving is not a sin after all.
I am so glad you are taking care of yourself and detaching. I have to work every day on detaching from so many things. The more I do it the easier my life gets.
