The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new here. I live with my boyfriend who is an alcoholic. He is a wonderful person who I love very much. I just don't know how to deal with his drinking and the effects of his drinking...no motivation to get work (he is self-employed) and asking to borrow money from me. I want to help him but I can't afford to loan money that I rarely get paid back for for his bills. Every time he needs to borrow money, I know that it is very hard for him to ask me for it. He tries to spend very little (except when buying beer or wine!!) on himself and acts very embarresed when he has to come to me for money. But he still does it. How do I say NO without sounding like I'm uncaring? How do I lovingly put a stop to my enabling??
I hope you can make it to face to face meetings in your area and read the al-anon literature, it helped me to be able to say what I mean, mean what I say without saying it mean. It is very hard to feel validated and own your own power when you aren't used to it. But now that I know how life is much easier and I am a lot less resentful. I am sending you love and support on your jourey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
