Hi Everyone.  I am new here.  I've read some of your posts quielty to my husband, we have the door locked to our room so hopefully my drug addicted daughter and/or her children can't hear me.  So many have hit home... so so many... like so many of you we are just so tired of living like this!  My husband is ill, he had a stroke and a heart attack that left him mostly blind, he has other health problems too, he can no longer work and due to my having to care for him and the children I lost my business about a 9 months ago.  We are really struggling and living on only his SSI which is very small and not nearly enough to support ourselves and the 9 children we are now responsible for.  We've lost our home, our vehicles and all respect.  Let me start by giving you guys a little history... I've heard lighting never strikes twice in the same place, but it seems history repeats itself is far more accurate. 

I am a ACOA... my mother was an alchoholic.  I spent my entire life protecting her and caring for my little brother, I even remember driving her to the liquor store when I was only 11 years old because I was scared she would get me and my brother killed but I couldn't let her drive!!  I lied for her although she would drive my freinds away by quite literally chasing them down the street.  I eventually learned to just not bring friends home and by my 15th birthday when she wouldn't let my boyfriend near the house I tried to kill myself..... after 2 weeks in the hospital my dad finally believed there was a problem and took custody of me and my brother and moved us cross country. My mother ended up commited to a state institution where she found out she had cancer, then died 2 years later. 

I married and had babies young, I wanted so much to be the "perfect mother".  I wanted to make up for all the sins of my past.  I did what I thought was a great job, I was always there for them.... tried to hard to be their friend....rejoiced when they were having babies and participated in their lives as new parents even though they were far too young.  I have 4 kids, 2 are addicts.... my son and daughter married a brother and sister from a severly neglectful home.  Their mother had abandoned them when they were very young.  There was history of alchohol and drug abuse and child neglect their entire life.  I think my kids thought they would "save" them. 

4 years ago I had to take custody of my son's 6 children because of drug abuse and neglect.  CPS placed them in our care after they were in 4 separate foster homes for 2 months.  It was tough... no matter what we did the parents didn't seem to want to fix their problems.  My son refused to leave his wife because she was the "mother of his children".  I kept saying "but you don't have your children!!"  Along with the drug abuse there was violence, my son was almost killed when a guy his wife ran off with stabbed him.  Eventually though the CPS case needed to be closed the judge allowed the 3 older kids to go back to their parents, giving us permanent custody of the 3 younger kids.  Although they never paid child support and were resentful that we had their kids our home was happy with the 3 little boys.  Then my husband got sick, and the money problems started.

Almost a year ago my daughter started on a downward spiral (probably started sooner, but that is when I became aware).  She actually was working for me part time and her reliability became unpredicatable (she blamed it on her husband) I had to replace her.  This is why I am here!   My daughter is addicted to prescription drugs.  She buys them on the street and goes to multiple doctors to get them.  I knew things were getting bad, I had spoken to my husbands counselor about what we could do to help.   Her husband smoked a lot of dope and refused to work.  They lived way in the country and I suspected he was abusing her physically and mentally, but couldn't get anyone to listen to me... they have 6 kids ages 3-13 and I was really worried for the kids.  Then the unthinkable happened, her loser husband sexually abused her 9 year old daughter.  When she found out she called the police, he is now in jail.  Things really got out of control when he went to jail, she blamed herself and really started using a LOT of drugs.... CPS got involved and asked her to put the kids in the care of family or they would have to remove them.  I am now responsible for 4 of her kids, and the two oldest are here every weekend.  That makes 9 kids under our roof.  She was supposed to be going to out patient rehab... however we don't have the transportation to get her there and she keeps using her crumby part time job as an excuse... I've recently found that she is stealing from us.... and we don't have much to steal.... I finally got a child support payment at Christmas time and found she stole most of it (that was stealing from HER kids too) then at Christmas we got some gift cards from a charity and she stole those too!!  Then in the last week our rent check almost bounced becase she used my husbands SSI to "secure a u haul" and ended up "losing" her own money that should have gone to pay for it... instead she let them run the card... that same day she went to Walmart and made several purchases using the debit card and got cash over the purchase of the $6 lock I told her she could get for the storage place!!!   There are also gas purchases and cigarette purchases we did not authorize.  She denies all of them!!  We are livid.. for the last couple of months we've suspected she was stealing my husbands medications, so this month we counted them and LOCKED them up.  She still got them!!!  Almost half of them.... we don't know how he is going to make it through this month now.  We don't even have money for toilet paper now, and my husband is almost out of meds. She is living with us because there is no where else she can go.... her kids are devasted by everything that has happened and would freak out if I lock her out, but I think that is our only recourse at this time. 

Neither my husband or I can take the stress of a confrontation.  I have medical problems too, but I'm not going to get into that...... what can I do?  How can I get strength? I can't go to meetings cuz there is no one to watch all these kids and transportation is an issue.  I just don't know where to turn. 

hello, im sorry you are going through so much right now. my sponsor told me to always make decisions that benefit the majority. your daughter is one member of your family and she is an adult. the rest of your family are suffering because of the actions of one. i hope you find the strength to act for the majority.x