The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all , guess i just need to vent some frustration like so many others.
My beautiful wife has been an alchoholic for around 6 years . Its just getting to much for me now . I really cant bear it any longer .
I Love her with all my heart and it makes it all the more worse seeing the woman I married, the mother of our chilldren in a drunken state.
She is a very functional drunk, but I am getting so worried she's gonna / or has damaged her health
When I come home from work she nearly always smells of booze , vodka is hidden away. But she always denies thats she's been drinking , then an argument ensues.
She knows she has a problem but wont do anything about it.
We have two lovely children I have a reasonable job, we do ok I just cant understand why she wont stop , arent we worth it?
When shes sober life is perfect. She is wonderful I'll never leave her.
You have come to the right place!!!!!!Alcoholism is a disease over which we are powerless. Having lived with this disease we tend to loose ourselves because we have focused entirely on the alcoholic and need our a program of recovery . Alanon is a fellowship of people who understand as few others can . Face to Face meetings are held in most communities. Please check out the hot line number in the White pages of the telephone directory and plan to attend. It is at these meetings and on the Board we learn to: Break the isolation caused by alcoholism, focus our attention on our own well being, live one day at a time and trust again.
Jollyman, you came to the right place. As Hotrod said, you are not alone. Coming here is good, and attending Face to Face meetings is a real help. I'll be praying.
Welcome Jollyman, alcohol is a terrible thief and it is so sad when we see it stealing away the beautiful people that that we love so much.
You will find lots of understanding and support here and also via alanon face to face meetings.
One of the most valuable lessons for me in the past few years of my marriage was when I gave up trying and stopped trying to fix my lovely husband - the only person I could look after was myself and it seemed that the better job I did of that the better care he started to take of himself. It was all very counterintuitive for me! My husband had to find his own path and make his own choices - it ain't easy for either of us and even though we love each other dearly we have certainly both been hurt a great deal by the effects that booze has had on our lives and our behaviour.
Keep reading and if you can, try to get to an ALANON meeting - you will come across people with so much experience and support to share.
Welcome Jollyman! Hot Rod pretty much said how it is with alcoholics. I just wanted to add that she isn't drinking to hurt you or your children. If she is an alcoholic she probably CAN'T stop without help. It won't matter how much you beg, plead, cry, or try to control... it won't make any difference. This program will help YOU and your children. Keep coming back.
Hotrod is right and yes your not alone. Please read all the Al-anon literature you can get your hands it helps. Also there is a book that has helped me a lot " Getting them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews.
Keep coming back my friend
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I am sincerely touched by all your replies . Thank you So much ! I have read a few message threads on here today and the parallels are so similar I'm amazed .defiantly in the right place . much love to u all.
I'm brand new as well and have been looking for a place to talk to people in the same situation as I am. I'm starting a new topic of my own...just wanted you to know that I'm in the same place as you....the drinking, lies, hiding bottles, denying drinking, says he can't sleep unless he's drunk enough, arguments, black outs, etc etc........
Good luck. I'll be posting a quick message now before I leave for work.
