Well, now that I am on my new journey, it has added some awareness for me.  The last time I was alone was when my AH was at his 5th rehab.  My Mom passed away, two days after he left, and it was a really bad time for me. They say what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger.  I have to agree.  Over these almost 3 years, I have changed alot.  I know my AH has only been gone for 4 days, but so far, I am not fretting or worrying.  I am just living my life and kind of enjoying the solitude. Don't get me wrong, it is a little lonely, but I am keeping busy. I talk with him each night as he is on his first journey alone too. And sober.  Big difference. Do I worry that he will slip?  Yes, it creeps in occasionally, but so far, I have been able to ignore it and mind my own business.

We had 8-12 inches of snow the night before last, and I was quite proud that I actually figured out how to start the snowblower and take care of all the snow myself without having to ask anybody for assistance. How awesome that made me feel!! 

Yesterday, I stripped a wall in my livingroom that had been bugging me for a long time.... remudded it, sanded it down, and repainted. It actually looks pretty good if I do say so myself.

The point of all this.... I could never that done these things 3 years ago. I would have been inside the house feeling sorry for myself and hoping and praying that somebody else would take care of all the snow. I would have just studied the wall  and it would have bugged me, but I would not have had the guts to jump in and see what I could do.

Sitting here, wondering what I should tackle next. Start stripping the trim upstairs, or prep the basement floor for repainting?  How exhilarating that I CAN do these things and WILL. 

This program have revamped my life and made me so much happier alone or with somebody. I am comfortable again in my own skin and it feels pretty good.  Now, onward to my next project.

I am woman.... hear me ROAR!!