Welcome!  Don't beat yourself up for not knowing. Some alcoholics are very good at hiding their addictions. There is no one to blame. It is a disease.  That is HIS disease and he is getting the help he needs. Now, you need to help yourself. I remember when my husband was in the throes of his alcoholism and one of the AA members told me that he strongly suggested that I attend Alanon.  Oh, my, I was SO insulted!! ME?????   I didn't even drink!!! Why the heck would I need to attend???? Well, I figured out after I hit MY bottom, that I certainly DID need to attend.  I have been told many times, that by the time our alcoholic loved ones get help, that we are usually sicker than they are.  Why???  Because we live every day in their chaos, insanity, and madness, every day SOBER.  It impacts us just as much, if not more, as them. I have now learned that only I am responsible for my happiness.... whether my AH drinks or not... I WILL work on my own growth as a person.  Seek out the walls of Alanon and if you don't want to talk right away, don't. Listen.  You will get so much insight by just listening to what the other "old timers" have to say.  Work the steps... they are SO freeing to US too. Keep coming here too.  Sometimes it is easier to write what we don't or can't say out loud until we are ready.  Stay strong... it will get better.  Peace.

Well, he's home. So far, so good. He's a little hyper and little OCD, but that's not new, and I can live with that. He is continuing with outpatient care and taking the advise of the professionals and I am doing the same. Tomorrow is family night. I am trying different f2f al anon meetings and reading the recommended texts. I accept that this is the beginning of a long journey, and at least for today, I am very hopeful! Peace to all. I'll be back.