The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know if anyone on here remembers me, but my ex husband was an alchololic who beat me up, stole all of my family's money, and was horrible.
My father was very supportive during this time. However, my dad likes to drink also. My dad has always been very critical of me and cuts me down all them time, he lets me know when he feels that I have failed at parenting. I am a single parent by the way. This really hurts me and I don't like spending time with him due to this. Today, he told me that he needed to figure out my furnace because he could not leave until it was figured out because i was so incompetent. Well, I told him that is what a father should do. I also told him that I was doing a great job, taking care of everything around the house, and he did not have the right to talk to me like that.
He went off on me and started coming closer to me and screaming at me. Later his girlfriend told me that he was an alcoholic and if he does not have have a beer by 2:00 then he will go crazy.
Also, since I have divorced my husband. I recently dated a guy who drank a lot. When he started drinking he would not stop until he was drunk. He also had to be on call at work sometime and he said the only thing about that, that bothered him was not being able to drink. He also was rude, insulting, and threatened to punch me and push me down the stairs, but then he would say he was just joking.
I don't know why these things keep happening. Why can't I get good men in my life? Also, would you say that the boyfriend that I dated was an alcoholic? Also, my dad claims that he is not an alcoholic because he drinks slowly.
TT you're going to have to get to the face to face meetings in your area where we get together. We have a helpful saying in recovery about the definition of insainity which is "doing the same things over and over again expecting different results" Does that resonate with you? Might it work better that you choose to go to face to face meetings rather than spend the time with the alcoholics in your live. No alcoholic is going to give you a real definition of alcoholism that you can rely on...He drinks slowly? LOL maybe he'll find a way to take that to an open AA meeting and tell them why he's not. If you want to check out some honest alcoholics enter the AA board her at MIP and just listen. Keep coming back ((((hugs))))
My father-in-law said he had no problems because he never drank at night. Never past 6 PM. But he went to bed at 8 and got up at 4 AM. His breakfast started with a juice glass of whiskey.
They have a lot of definitions that don't really matter because you are welcome at AlAnon if someone's drinking bothers you. You don't have to define it any closer than that.
I was pretty angry in my meetings when someone would say, "what was your part in it?" And I finally learned that, for me, the right answer was, "I put up with it!" A normal person would boot them to the curb much sooner than we do.
It sounds as if you have reached your bottom. I said 'why does this keep happening to me?' Then I went to alanon and quickly realised
I was playing a role of victim and martyr. I was allowing people, not only alcoholics to walk all over me and of course, they did. I had to take my responsibility in this. If you
Are at this point then it could be the beginning of fabulous changes and even happiness. The steps 1-3 offered me freedom. I surrendered myself and my control over my a. In every way. I could not control anyone's drinking or nasty comments but I could control me and the things that hurt me which now not much at all. They're words have no power unless you give them power by being hurt. You are so strong, much stronger than the a's in your life. Dive into alanon, get
To know the steps. There is hope and a better life for you if you want it.
