The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
im haveing a really hard time not takeing others enventories especially my sisters eventory,and now ex a b/f,need help here really bad driveing me crazy and wrecking havic in my own life and doing or saying things i shouldnt say that only makes me look bad as well as them,esh plz ,,hugs,chinup.
When I find myself in an uncomfortable place emotionally, I usually see if i can get to an Alanon meeting. Online can be good too if I can't get out to a face to face meeting. Calling my Alanon sponsor and talking it out can also help. Working the Alanon steps helps me to make progress with behaviors I want to change. These are things that help me to feel more comfortable and keep my serenity. When I don't practice these things, I become irritable and unreasonable. Thanks for sharing. Take what you like and leave the rest. Hugs TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Maybe if you take a walk and clear your mind, and pray and meditate a bit. The best thing you did was write it down here. That's acknowledging something you want to change. That's the first step. Chin up! You can do this!
Taking peoples inventory, being angry with them, saying things we do not mean, are all evidence that we have been seriously affected by living with this disease. Alanon tools work well with these difficulties
Keep repeating the serenity prayer, and use the slogans such as: How important is it, Live and Let live and simply Let go and Let God. These all helped me to stop focusing on others and come back and take care of myself
Betty, that's it exactly. I have spent so much of my life being a nurturer. It goes back to fighting battles for my younger brothers. That's how long I've been doing it!!! :) Anyway, I am forever trying to protect others from hurt and failure, and I have always put myself in last place. It's time for ME to take better care of me.
Things I say to myself when I catch myself doing this...
"How important is it?" "Remember this is another child of God who deserves the same respect you do." "I am not responsible for this person." "This is none of my business" or "Mind your own business, Kelly."
Other things I do - I try to get myself focused on something else. When my mind is taking another's inventory, clearly it's taken over and is running all over the place at my expense. I try to get present - stop, breathe, look at my surroundings with extreme focus, feel their energy, feel the energy within myself, and then start thinking of stuff to be grateful for in my life.
