odat,is all one can do when in our most vulerable times its not easy for any of us,but we got to hold on and not let go for if we let go even for a sec. we will fall back into the same old drama we stepped out of,serenity prayer and lots of distractions and staying as busy as i can be until this time passes is all i can do but oh how i want to pick that phone up and call ,i know better my ex/b/alcoholic addict is so baffleing and powerful and he even says he dont think he will live another 10 yrs he is only 49 yrs old but he knows the abuse he has put on his body over a 30 yrs period all due to alcohol and heavy hard core drugs he has stopped it all but the alcohol and works hard everyday in carpentry ,ppl tell me that he may out live me who knows cause he does work so hard in phisicle labor he may but whatever im sure he has damaged his body in a very bad way,any esh here is so welcome,loved reading all the posts,my heart goes out to greeneyes at this very hard time of hard greiveing of her loss of a loved one ,we dont never know when this ugly desease is gonna take our loved ones lives but what i can see and have been noticeing is it takes them at at age 50-52,i hate this desease.hugs and more hugs chinup