The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok so alcoholism is a disease.....I get it. I would never leave a sick loved one in need. HOWEVER......if I was knowingly exposing my children to a contagious disease I would certainly remove them from the situation. Maybe this is just a thought that helps me justify my next move? Maybe....but I have to keep my kids safe, happy, and healthy. Right now....nobody in this house is any of those things (although my AH claims he is very happy and just fine)....well then I guess he really doesn't need us around then anyway.
I will do what I have to do and have peace with myself for doing it...no regrets.
If you thought and prayed about what you want, you will know what is best for you and your children. Like me you will second guess yourself many times because it is a very big decision your making in your life. It might be one of the final things we do when all else is not a option anymore. It's scary and sad to think of being alone, unwanted and wanting so much to help him instead, but you also want happiness and a healthy and peaceful life
Take care of yourself C
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I think your right, your children's safety, security and happiness are your responsibility. Also your husband's but his disease prevents
Him from caring for them. The program seems to suggest that a family can stay together as long as there is a sane person in the home. The sober person must detach and focus on themselves. To me this seems very risky because how can the children be protected from the chaos that alcoholics bring? Surely the family then becomes mum and kids living very seperate lives from the a. Also, can you teach the kids to detach? Maybe if they are young enough but if they are older quite often they are scared and angry, feelings that can be hard to hide and the a often reacts to. Also, the alcoholic doesn't set good examples. My ex a treated me like dirt and I reacted I think this taught my kids some bad lessons that I am still paying for. My kids are older and both my son's have struggled in their teens, they also don't show a lot of respect for me, they are very selfish and can manipulate very well. With the help of alanon I am dealing with them better. I am aware that I also contributed through my own codependant issues. This is just my experience but I'm sure there are others who have made it work. Either way it takes courage. Work your program and you will get your answer.
