The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, best laid plans. I attempted to go to my first F2F meeting today at 1:00. When I arrived at the location that was listed on the Al-Anon meeting website, I was told that they stopped having meetings there on Tuesday afternoons. I'm having such a rough time today, and really felt it was time for me to go. I feel like I have so much laying on my shoulders right now and that was just an additional disappointment. Then, when I arrived back to my office, I was expecting a paycheck, which I really need, and is four days late, and it didn't arrive. Apparently, there is a problem with my check, which was sent out last Wednesday. I feel like the weight of the world is resting on me right now and I cannot stop crying. I did call the Al-Anon meeting information and learned there is a meeting tonight at 7:00. I keep trying to lift everything up to God, but it just seems like more and more darts are being thrown at me. Ugh.
Add another dart. My husband just contacted me. He has to go for his three day DUI hotel over our anniversary weekend. The anniversary thing really isn't that big of a thing. We wouldn't be celebrating anyway. However, it's a big weekend for a job that we had to do. Now, I have to get help from some other people, and that means less income for us because I will have to pay helpers. Please Lord, I just need some light.
I understand that I have no control over any of these circumstances, but I do so much to make things right. Why am I being burdened with so much at the same time?
It's hard to get a big whack of bad news all at once. It sounds as if you're really paying the price for your husband's addiction -- having to pay helpers to do what he should be doing, being short of funds so a late paycheck is stressful, a great need for an Al-Anon meeting. Those are the kinds of prices we tend to end up paying when we end up with A's. So much need for our own recovery! I hope as you continue to recover you'll find ways to work around his inadequacies. I know I am still paying the price for my husband's addiction, many years down the line, but the price has gotten much smaller -- and I've also learned some very valuable things I might not have learned any other way. I hope you can come to that phase of recovery soon. Can you get to the meeting tonight? Do you have a sponsor or numbers you can call? At times of greater stress we need more support. Hang in there! Hugs.
Thank you Abby and Mattie. Yes, I feel like I've been paying the price. And I know this is wrong, but I really don't share my concerns with him so much because I'm afraid of triggering him to the point where he will want to drink. I got in touch with someone, and there is a meeting I can go to. He has been telling me that I don't need a meeting because we can do this together. However, he hasn't been to an AA meeting since he met his quota that was required by the DUI court. He is very strong willed, and I hope and pray that he returns to meeting to work on his recovery.
