Hey everyone, I was linked to this site by a friend and I honestly have no idea if I'm posting in the right place or not. I've never looked into Al-Anon or anything of the sort because I've never felt the need to before. The alcoholic is my godfather, so he's not blood related but he was there during childhood more often than my actual father was, and has been a good friend throughout life. Since childhood I've never been that close to him, we would have months where we would visit him and he'd come see us, and everything would be fine- then he wouldn't come around anymore for months at a time. As a child I didn't really know why, I just accepted that was the way it was. My mother, bless her, tried to shield us from the truth I guess. When I Got older I came to know he was drinking, and sometimes he would call us randomly, and keep calling, to rant drunkenly. I still didn't get the brunt of that so it didn't really get to me. I was not as close to him anymore either, I guess. However, recently something happened that is so difficult for me. I love him to bits. He is a good man, he wouldn't hurt a fly. I hadn't talked to him in months because he had gotten drunk and said something to hurt me over the phone... then he would avoid our calls and never contact us, as usual. but then his mother had a stroke, and he needed help. My mother, my husband and I were there for him in an instant. For three months we were there with him almost constantly, and he exhausted himself caring for his mother and his father who has Alzheimers. Both of his parents are at home, with hospice coming by, but he has been working tirelessly to take care of them, and I was so sure he was finally done with drinking. How could he take care of his parents if he were drunk? He has other family who comes by once in a while, but they were there for his mother. His stupid drinking has driven almost everyone out of his life, except for us. (Let me add in that he can't drive because he lost his license in a DUI a while back, and he doesn't work because he can't drive, and so they live in poverty, basically, like my family does). Well, over the last three months I've gotten closer to my godfather than I've ever been. I was so thankful and so happy to have him in my life. He made me laugh and smile, and he comforted me, and he was so grateful for all our help with his mother. We'll be there for you, we told him, just call us whenever you need us. Things went smoothly enough for 3 months, and I came to know my godfather better than I ever had, or so I thought. Suddenly he started calling to tell us NOT to come. Someone else was there helping, he would say, but if anything happened, he would call! We took him at his word. Then, he began to sound strange on the phone. We figured he was drinking (I don't know WHO brought him alcohol and I could THROTTLE them for it! UUGH) but I held onto this desperate hope that maybe he just sounded odd because he was so tired. Then crap hit the fan. He called last night to ask my mother to bring him a bag of tobacco she'd picked up for him, and when she said she'd have to come later because she was about to sit down to drink coffee with company, he went off on her. He cursed her and said some extremely nasty, hateful things. She asked my husband and I to take the tobacco. At the time I knew he was drinking but I was still hoping, well maybe he's just tired and stressed out. But we got there and he asked me what was wrong. I could tell by the look on his face and in his eyes he'd been into the whiskey or whatever it is he drinks. I explained calmly that I wasn't happy with the way he'd talked to my mother. At that he went off on ME, something he has never done before. I guess it's the normal thing for people who have been drinking a lot, he told me he knew I didnt care about him, blah blah blah, and commanded us to leave. So we left. So I guess we're back to not talking with him again. Every time this has happened in the past he's been so sorry, and apologized, and promised he'd never drink again... but it always happens again. He won't go to meetings or anything, and I just don't know what to do. I can't be around him when he's like this... I just can't. I know his family will probably find him drinking and put his parents in the nursing home, which he wanted so badly to avoid, but if he's going to do this then he won't be capable of caring for them like he should. I don't want the responsibility of calling them and telling them he's drinking. This is too much for me already. My mother says after 30 years she's done for good with him. But I Felt like I was just beginning to really know him... but I already suffer from anxiety disorders and depression, I don't know if I can handle him. If he follows his usual pattern in a few months he'll come around and call again, and try to mend broken fences... I don't even know what I'm asking. I just needed to get this off my chest. *sigh*