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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Things can change so fast!
Post Info TOPIC: Things can change so fast!
Debilyn


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Things can change so fast!
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We met here at MIP, over ten years ago. He and I kept in communication over ten years, we were very close friends. Reminded each other of our Al Anon skills dealing with my now ex AH, and his soon to be ex AW. Kids are grown now and gone, he is done.

Very sadly he has found the evidense of the drug use. We had seen the signs, it is real. This made his resolve to leave so much easier. He knew he had given it his all. He is like that, high integrity.

Some months ago our relationship started changing. Both of us totally confused. He asked me not to push him away, I said OKaaaaaaa. I am very much in love and like with him. The last week or so, I see a change in him, he is also feeling the same way, and able to face that. I asked him,"don't you want a younger person? Someone new, all that stuff?"He said no, he does not want that at all. He hates the stress of it, plus I told him," well if you did date I would strangle you, anyway the first time you had a problem you would call me." "So you are stuck with me." He is, I am stuck with him too. I have never, been happier.

This next step in the divorce is sortof a closure. He needs it over. This is when everyone will know, it will be out. Kids, grand kids, big family. I know what this means for us. It's all in his hands.

He loves animals too, we are not into things like fancy appliances or the latest pots and pans. We like to be comfortable. He tells me he wants me to be me. Well some of you know, that is all I can be. Am not into phoney or any of that. If I get up in my nightgown and throw a flannel shirt on.....well that is me. He knows all this. I mean he knows "everything" about me. I thought oh gawd why would he want me, he knows all the gruesome details...lol

But I learned it is the so called bad stuff that you guage your decisions on. I love him for his differences, his being crabby in the morn before coffee, I am a morning person of YAY what do I get to do today! By four I am a pumpkin. This man hunts, fishes etc. I am very much not goint to kill a spider. But he hunts to eat. I get it. I won't eat it but its healthier for him.

We both want the way the Bible says. To me that is the only way it will work. I very much am into making him and I a home, and he works. He has a college degree and his career, we would never have to be concerned about finances. I will still be frugal anyway. I want to have food in the house and cook good stuff, clean and do wash. I always wanted to be barefoot and pregnant. Well the pregnant part is out....lol

He brought up we may have a home in Oregon and one in Louisiana. I have to be honest, I am not sure if I can physically take the humidity and heat. My life is outside. I will do my best. All I know is I do not want aligators near  me or my animals! shiver....yikes.

We are better with each other becuz of Al Anon. Its so amazing how all of it makes each of us a better person.

I got my horse. She is a 6 year old papered Quarter horse, the most beautiful Palomino I have seen. Her bother is a champion in 3 Quarter horse  whatever they are! lol Her owner was disabled and could not care for her. She has had two foals. NO I am not breeding her. She is my girl. IF I had not been blessed with MIP I would not have gotten her. She was free, but what I mean is, I would not have learned it was ok to give her to me. This is my anti stressor, grooming, feeding loving my horse.

Al Anon omg, I just realized, when I first started, a gal named Mel told me I had a miracle coming. Yea yea. Well I was made into a better person, but my miracle is this man who very well,looks to be, my future husband! gulp.

wondered so long why God had not answered my prayers for a mate.

Just when I thought our time had passed, you go and save the best for last. that song hits me all the time.

Its funny cuz I have been so sure for so long. Then now, when he is getting there too, the reality of it is, omg my stomach hurts. lol and I am scared it won't happen. I thought my life was finished.Boy was I wrong.

I never, ever would have to worry about him leaving or cheating or anything. I KNOW Him thru and thru.
What a gift! what a miracle! thank you, ya'll. You guys have held me thru such a long journey. Debilyn 



-- Edited by Debilyn on Monday 7th of January 2013 12:23:07 PM

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
el-cee


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Hello Debilyn

Great post, I knew from the start alanon was good but I never knew it was THAT good. lol Congratulations, youve given me hope!



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Debilyn


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Oh El cee if we truly follow the skills and tools, we become better people. We learn not to allow others to control our feelings, we realized what boundaries we have, we come to realize too that our A is very, very sick. We come to see them differently.

We are so sick from their disease we forget our self, the disease longs to suck us dry. And it does. I woke up and saw the cobwebs on my ceiling, my eyebrows were not done anymore, I had no uniqueness anymore.

Then for years I started changing. Not easy either. Went head to head here too! But the patience and love of others kept me going.

It is true it works if you work it. (c: I mean for life. love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Cathyinaz


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So happy for you. I pray someday I will have the happiness you have.

Big hug to you..... :)


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Temple


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Debilyn,

Bless your heart! I think you know how much I have wanted you to be safe and happy.

A horse--you have got to be blissed out!

I'm with you on the Louisiana thing. I didn't even think about the scary things out in the woods--just the steamy heat. Maybe he could fly to see you quite often. About the best marriage I ever knew of personally was one in which the husband was gone Monday to Friday. You'd be fine if he could come to see you for a few days each month or so, perhaps. He must get lots of vacation time. Or maybe you could move to Tennessee, somewhere that's cooler and closer to LA. If you did move, it would look like Noah's Ark on wheels, wouldn't it?

It will all work out.

Love,
Temple

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AlAnonDave


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Very nicely written. Thanks for sharing your blessings with us.

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