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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> At a loss...
Post Info TOPIC: At a loss...
John


~*Service Worker*~

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At a loss...
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Rarely am i someone at a loss for words. However, i feel like i was hit with a stun gun lately. I paid to bring my 32 yr old son here to North Carolina after his marriage took the plunge. First thing he found was alcohol, then a girlfriend he got preg, then two felony charges for b&e at a closed store a few blocks away. Now, being who i am and doing what i do every day for so many alcoholics and addicts it just seemed right to offer my own what i offer to others. I visited him in jail, talked to him about alcoholism and a treatment program i could get him into, he agreed he needed help and ask me to set it up for him so he could go as soon as he was released from jail. This is right before Christmas i am going to be strong and just let him sit it out in jail. Well, my brain kept bugging me, "its the holidays, people that ould have didnt give up on you what if they did that to you 23 yrs ago?" And on and on. I called a bondsmen. I paid 1000.00 to get him out of jail. I had the intent of having him with me for the holidays and then off to a treatment program hed go. Well, he immediately jumped bond and went back to Texas What that might end up costing me i can't even say it because that makes it all too real. So, i am dazed, baffled, amused, pissed off.... but one thing i'm not is lacking graditude. I am grateful i am not him today, having to wake up in his skin and live between his ears. I just want to hug him with both hands around his neck! John

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" And what did we gain?  A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."

(Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions,Step 3. pg 21)

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Pushka


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Hugs John,

It seems to be in the air the bizzaro behavior that others continue to do without any regard for the consequences of their actions.

You gotta great program and I am so sorry that this happened, God is bigger than all of this and I will pray that whatever the outcome it's in everyone's highest good.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Path to Serenity


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(((JOHN)))

When it comes to our offspring, too often our hearts get in the way of our brains. Gratitude is certainly the keyword - just think where your heart & mind would be today w/o the guidance of the program.

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hotrod


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I so understand John

You and your son will be in my prayers



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Debilyn


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no I feel so sad for you and him John. When it comes to our kids, we really are in denial. Just cannot help it, the alternative thoughts would be too hard to bare.

You did all you could and you know that. I did that on purpose myself. I wanted to be sure, I had tried everything, not for him so much but for me. I walked away with a clear conscience.

You did your best and utmost John. I know, do we hug them or strangle them?

I know you are scared for him. All we can do is seriously let go.

My own daughter is not A, but she is pulling some strange thing I have NO idea what made her mad at me. She will not answer calls or return any communication. So I know, it hurts.

I have to pray to ask HP to please help me not allow her to tear me apart.

Want you happy so badly. Sending you my love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Highlyfavored


Senior Member

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John, thanks for the lesson on graditude, I know it hurts, but you are still focused on the good.  Prayers for you and your son.

Gettinitrigt!!



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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time.  And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers

Gettingitright!
el-cee


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John, he sounds a lot like my son. They seem to let you down over and over. I've got one of they voices too. It tells me he's ok, he won't let you down again, he's a poor soul. Fight the voice.

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DavidG


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 John- you gave it your best shot- I would have done the same thing.



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  
orchidlover


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I am sorry this happened to you.  No one deserves to be around that kind of treatment.

Maresie.



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orchid lover
Cathyinaz


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So Sorry....prayers for your son that he will find his way someday.

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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
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