The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
here i am trying to move on with my life to new horizons if its possible i feel like my life is so limited here now that my mom is gone, i spent most if not all of my time with my mom when she was here,now to redirect,while still greiveing my lost,its not gonna be easy still got spring and summer to go through and fall without her is gonna be rough bad rough cause its gona be hard.and a special thanks goes out to hotrod for giveing me the website to start my mom a memorial website and hotrod i hope your reading this cause words cant express the thanks i have for that that was so very special and i so enjoyed reading about your son yours was so special i have begun my moms already but still got to put some pics up .etc,i love you hotrod!!!thanks agin,im also doing better with my bounderies with my a/d b/f in my life ,no drinking or alcohol here on my premises i dont have to tolorate it and it keeps me sane to set that bounderie although he does try to slip around and over or under me to try to get me to bend my bounderie but that just makes it so much worse when he does that cause its so disrespectful of a person to do that .my time is limited with him to mornings i may and may not call him to just talk .but nitelife is out cause of his drinking ,he wants to take me out to dinner sometime ,but ill have to wait and see how things goes,but as for me today im trying not to isolate myself to much ,we alanoners we can be tough and strict for sure,i can now see it in me since my moms gone,at times i feel like a mean person cause i have hung up on my a/d so many times or cut him so short,already been telling myself if someone else comes along that i feel is right for me than my a/d will be history,but thats not what im looking for im just trying to work on me ,ive got way to much time on my hands nowadays and feel so lost inside.i know its got to that my moms gone ,ive just allowed my whole life to revolve around her,for years,this is a huge change and is scary also.i got to fill my time ,my a/d tries so hard it seems with me but i think its just mostly that he is wanting something out of me thats not gonna happen like me inviteing him to come live with me thats not gonna ever happen here,my well set boundryid be really setting myself up for a huge setback so no that will never happen here,and im trying am gonna make some other changes in my life this year for the betering of myself like a closer relationship with my h/p and building me a healthy relationships with other freinds ,but for now i am alone in this huge house of mine and its not fun,been looking for me a roomate but no luck as of yet,i dont know how to go about finding me a good roomate,any suggesstions on any of this will be welcome and im so sorry for rambleing on n on,thanks for listening ,its been a way long time since ive been on here ,thanks your all so special to me that i have to keep comeing back to fill you all in on whats going on with me nowadays and ill try and not wait so long next time,love you all bunches hugs and squeezes....chinup
(((chinup))) i hear you, and sounds you are really growing strong. You set boundaries, you are aware of the buttons that try to let them down and you are resisting, sticking to your own health..GOOD FOR YOU!
I also know we need time to change things in our lifes. But already knowing that we WANT to change is a huge step, it's the awareness that brings the movement forward. so just give yourself the time you need, you are jsut where you need to be...
looking for a flatmate is a great idea. I got a dog, a loving happy creative cheerful dog. He keps me busy, knows to receive affection so well and gives so much in return. He is my closest family right now, he also can make me angry sometimes, because he does what dogs do but I can assure you, he is the reason I get up in the morning when th world seems to stop turning. He keeps me healty. so can fish, cats, birds, spiders, .....whatever animal you can imagne living with. I believe!
We humans are not made for isolating...so give yourself the time to mourn, to remember, to sit, to breathe, to love, to plan , to dream and to share. You design your life. You are highly functional, in contact with your feelings. I wish you courage to move on, step by step.
i have a dog,ive had for 7 yrs he is a yorkshire and he is my baby but he also keeps me from going places i need to go like i need to go over seas to spend time with my daughter and g/kids but im scared my yorky will greive to much.so thats like a thorn in my side and i cant afford to take him with me so i got to find him a really good sitter.thanks for that suggestion,animals r a huge relief to us but also can be a huge downfall like with going places for a long period of time where they cant go,which i would only be gone for 2 weeks if i should go.
I am so pleased that you found the web site helpful and are working on a memorial for your mom. it certainly helped and helps me to acknowledge my loss without and also the joy of my sons life. I know you will experience the same in time The best part is that you can visit any time day or night, post a message or just remember the happy times. Good move chin up.
Please be gentle with yourself this entire year of grieving mom. Just being able to get out of bed and accomplish daily chores are a great start. isolating is a danger and I wm glad you are aware of it. Come here often and visit our on line meetings you are not alone.
I have two dogs and there are tremendous limitations I agree with taking care of them. At the same time for me that has meant I have to create and have a solid life in order to give them the optimal care. No life is without restrictions.
I used to feel like I had made the wrong decision to take on the dogs after I had left the ex A. He was supposed to take care of them and didn't.
Now I think my commitment to taking care of them has forced me to take care of myself.
I think its pretty common when we lose someone to feel very lonely and lost.
I am glad you are setting up a memorial for your mother.
Why not rent out your place to students who are here temporarily then you would not be putting yourself into a long term situation and could evaluate how it went for you. I think it is tremendously difficult to get a roommate situation if you are not on top of boundaries and expectations and really that takes a long time.
But if you go through an agency to get some short term students (in for a short term course) generally all those boundaries are spelled out for you and the money comes in the form of a contract so there is no back and forth about what is owed and when. Of course this is just one suggestion and like all suggestions has to be thought about rather than acted on.
There are many many stories here of how people coped with different losses, what they did, how they did it and where they are now. The more people you meet here and look at how they coped through so many disparate awful situations the more your options will be for you.
I hope you will consider Hotrods suggestion of going to online meetings here twice a day. The group of people here are caring, loving and considerate and that is a great base to start from.
but I can assure you, he is the reason I get up in the morning when th world seems to stop turning. He keeps me healty. so can fish, cats, birds, spiders, .....whatever animal you can imagne living with. 
I believe!