The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning everyone, I am new here,but not new to alcoholism. I the wife of an alcoholic for 33years.I am hoping to make friends here. I have 5 grown children,and 8 grandkids..all live out of state from us.I am hoping to be able to understand the disease,and get over the anger and hurt I have over my husband. I realize I have to change my attitude and can't control what he does. I can'tmake himstop drinking. But it's so hard. So any help I can get will be appreciated. Thanks.:)
I am so glad you are here! You are at the right place to find comfort, strength and hope. I am married to a recovering alcoholic (an a) who has been sober now for 20 months. I have learned sooo much from alanon and from this website, chatroom, and message board. I hope you will come back to visit us all here again. I am sure you'll love it, and you'll find ways to help yourself to be sane, and to understand this disease and the effects it has on us as the family of the alcoholic/addict. Please take care of YOURSELF, and have a blessed day!
Welcome, you are in the right place. My husband is recovering now, but he drank and drugged for the first eighteen years of our marriage. There are a lot of people here who know what you are going through and have gone through. We also know that healing is possible, there is a way through all that resentment, and there is a brighter future. Read through old posts here, get yourself some alanon literature - you can get it through this site, through amazon or ebay, through the official al anon sites, even from the public library ( very empowering , that, to take out books on the subject, not caring who sees). The best place to get alanon literature is at face to face alanon meetings in your town. There is a link to a meeting directory at the top of this page, and I bet there is a meeting near you. If you can get to a f2f, please go. It's scary walking through that door, but inside is the most welcoming place you can imagine. You don't have to talk, you can just cry if you like, no one will mind. We have all been where you are, but we are slowly, in our own ways and at our own pace, getting better.
Welcome to MIP! Here you will find great strength, wisdom, hope and occassionally a bit of silliness (good for the heart).
There is so much here that you can learn from all of our experiences and we from yours. Besides the online meetings, there is an online copy of the Blue Book if you go to the AA website. The chapter addressed to wives and families is particularly good. Also Lois Remembers is another great place to start. Please join us for our online chats and meetings if you can. But f2f meetings are also important for us.
Remember to be good to yourself. None of this is your fault. Do not loose yourself in your husband's disease. Your recovery is possible wether or not he chooses sobriety/recovery for himself. I'm living proof of that, as well as others. Reading the old posts is a great source of information and strength. Rereading is a good reminder for me of what we are all going through and that we can come out the other end. Looking forward to reading your posts.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
You have come to the right place. Alanon is for families and friends who are impacted by another's drinking. For me I have gained tools to deal with my recovering A husband of 32 years. I too deal with angery and resentments towards his behavior. We learn that we are not alone. We learn to take care of ourselves. Keep coming back!
Welcome - you have made a little step that can change your life. As the others have said, try to get to a face to face meeting, read some conference approved literature - and come into the chat room - it is not all problems, we have fun (remember that?) too.
I am so glad you found us. You are guaranteed to find friends here. If you go to f2f, you will also find walking, talking, large as life friends!
Many people here, and in the meetings, have similar experiences to you - for me, my m-i-l was first A I remember, my husband, therefore, was an adult child, had learned the behaviour. Shock to me, my daughter turned out to be an A. It is a family disease, bet, when you learn a bit more, you will find other As in your family. For me, it made sense of all the rubbish I had been through, I was married for 27 years (now a widow) - I understand some of the stuff you will have experienced, the hiding things, the pretence. I am so glad I do not need to do that anymore - when I started to work this program, I came to realize that I had not really fooled anyone, they were just being polite!
The best thing, for me, is, this is an honest program. You are safe here, you can say what is in your heart - even when it would be unacceptable to people outside the fellowship. No-one will judge you, nor give advice, they will share their experience, strength and hope with you - so, again, welcome, keep coming back, you have nothing to lose, everything to gain.
Welcome to this program. My boyfriend has hepatitis c from all his drugging/drinking stuff. His health is going down the toilet and i have been sucked into helping him in many ways that are really unhealthy for me in the past five years. His mother does nothing but try to look good when she can. She either ignores him or demands he be in attendance to her whims. I have had to work extremely hard to detach from her.
I have not managed it yet but I am a lot further along than I was. Normally at this time of year I would be totally immersed in fear of the time ahead now I have learned to take it one day at a time.
this is the place to be. im a 24 yr old ex-girlf. of an "A" if i didnt have this place.... i dont know how i would cope with all the hate, anger and bitterness i have in my head.
