The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, I am at my father's getting some laundry done. I come here to do it because he has the machine available and it gives me time to spend with him.
I came over and he was passed out. He woke up and we began to chat. He went up to take a shower then came down more drunk than he was when he woke up. I can always tell because of the glaze in his face and the sluring words. He also begins to get into the 'I love you so much' spiel, which can get very annoying and is just un-attractive.
Anyway, last month he went on short-term disability for work. Depression was his reasoning, and the doctor put him on anti-depressants signed off on it.
Originally, he was going to go back on Jan.7th, but now it was pushed to Feb.18th. Another month. He keeps claiming 'That's what my doctor tells me'. Now I have been depressed and if you feel like going back to work, the doctor will send you.
I fear that ultimately, he just won't go back. This is what happened with my schizophrenic mother. She went off of work and ultimately never went back. Now lives a life on disability pay by herself in an empty apartment. It's sad really.
My sponsor keeps telling me to try and include her in my life again. We've spoken probably 15 times in the last 15 years.
I understand it is not easy when our parents' lives deteriorate. My schizophrenic mother did not finish her University degree and never got into work. During the divorce my father lost his job and never got back into long-term employment. I am very afraid the same is happening to me. Before I came to Al-Anon I had lost all my self-confidence and could not find a new job. Now I am back - I am not earning enough to make a living on my own, but I am definitely having a chance to proof myself and a lot of fun!
This shows me: 1. Things can get better. 2. We are powerless over others' lives.
I admire your willingness to turn this over to your higher power and work on yourself. I needed to realise this same thing today again, because I have trouble accepting my AB and his life choices that affect me.
It's funny because My father has been through worse and put me through worse and he's always come out of it.
But it's hard to tell people that my parents live this way. They've just given up on themselves and their families and then I get in sh!t for not keeping in touch with them. I love them as parents, but as people I do not want them influencing my life.
I feel like I cam keeping a bunch of secrets that if people found out, they'd be absolutely repulsed.
