The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Robin I can so relate to your post. I separated from my AW 3 months ago. We have two teenage children. I finally moved out to get some peace and sanity......I too took so much abuse from my wife while she was drinking.
There is HOPE, believe it or not. The changes you have made will be very hard initially but it will slowly get better every day when you learn to take care of yourself and not feel guilty about it. Go ahead and cry.......be angry......get it all out now......and then get ready to recover. You are worthy and your feelings deserve respect.....if you don't believe so and act like it why would your AW? Read this board, start going to as many Al Anon meetings as possible......they are a wonderful source of hope and fellowship. You will meet people who know.......what you have been through.......they will show you the way to sanity.
Take care my brother.
-- Edited by Geo on Saturday 5th of January 2013 06:43:15 PM
You do matter a great deal I am so glad that you found us and reached out This cunning disease of alcoholism is so very destructive to all that it encounters. Attending your first alanon Meeting is a wonderful step.
Please come back here and let us know how it goes. I too am grateful for your Service.
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 5th of January 2013 08:50:43 PM
Hi, I've been through a lot with my AW and reading some of the posts on this site I have come to realise there is some hope for myself. I'm sitting in a hotel room now after another incident with AW and I feel that a great weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I've known my AW for just over 20 years and at the start of the relationship we had our fair share of arguements but I thought it was because we were young. The last 10 years since I came back from Iraq have been very unhappy and I can't recall 1 happy holiday or anything else. In 2004 my AW had an affair which was my fault (her words). 6 months later my mother died after a very short illness and the day she was buried my AW decided to have a drink. It end with the police being called and she involved of my family. Since the incident my family has never been the same. Over the years I have hidden things from everyone about the AW and stuck up for her. Her family knows that she drinks but if its not hurting them why worry I will deal with it. Any time I question the drinking the level of abuse I take is unreal. I take all the work going so I dont have to be in the house. I reacted a lot to it over the years, there is only so much I could take. What made me break and leave was when my 11 year old son start copying his mothers abuse by calling me names and sending texts because thats what mummy does. The 2 kids are still with her, the oldest is 18. What else could I do, I was the one causing the problems!!!!!!!!!!!! I have even considered killing myself but realise that will create all lot more problems. Many times before I went back just so the kids are ok but not this time, I know she will not hurt them. I'm going to my first alnon meeting tomorrow after many years of saying it. Linkin Park sung "in the end nothing else matters"and I've added "but me!!!!!!
Nothing else matters but you...Robin you are so ready for your first meeting...get there as fast a you can and don't delay. Go with a wide open mind and listen, listen, listen and before that meeting...stick with the MIP Al-Anon Board...you will find tons of help and support here.
You do matter....be patient it took a long time to get where you are now and it will take some time to get some peace again. Just remember "alcoholism" You did not cause it, You can't can't control it and You can't cure it....The three C's. Just as sure as I am sitting here writing this reply there IS help for you, in Alanon meetings and on this board. Continue reading and posting, the people on this website have been where you are and can share there experiences, strength and hope. I don't know you but I care for you in a special way because you have been effected by the "diisease" of alcoholism, as I have too. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NOW...and you will be a good example to your children, they are watching every move you make, they love you.
In support Oldergal...
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Welcome welcome 1212.....so glad you are planning to join us, wherever that may be. Face to face meetings are the best! This room is excellent too, so your opportunities for recovery are so good. You are so worth it.
So glad you found us and I am so glad to hear you have a face to face meeting planned. Once I found al-anon things started to make sense and my life got much better. Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
YAY to the 1st Al-Anon F2F Meeting Courage was on your Side :) And you Did it ;) Good for you..
NOW... :)
WELCOME to MIP... And I Would like to add that YOU are So Very Worth the Work & Time of this Program, and as you Get use to the Healing that will come your way, this Sight will benifit you along with your F2F Meetings... And i"m So Very Grateful you felt at home... They always say Make at least 6 meetings before you make up your mind, but for some... We Only Need ONE :)
I Can Say that Coming here, and Clearning my Mind, and Releasing my Abuse, not just from others but from myself as well, Has been nothing short of a Blessing for me, I had to take a Hard long Look at myself and Own My Part in thier Disease.. Not Easy but MIP & My F2F Helped me Do it... With the Love & Support of My HP & My Al-Anon Family, I am Growing & Changing my Behaviors the Best That I can...
Know that you are in No Race, Just Absorb ALL that you Can about this Disease, and it will help you see not only the damage they have done to themselves & those around them, but also the damage it has done to Us & our Souls... You have made a GREAT STEP... Finding this Place & Making that Meeting...
