Court today and some victim thinking on my part - Al-Anon Family Group

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Court today and some victim thinking on my part

AlAnonDave · Veteran Member

Thanks for sharing this. Sounds like a very difficult situation. Keep praying to your HP about it. Sounds like you've done what you can do. I pray for a good outcome.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((BreakingFree)))))...some of the things I learned in recovery are...being a victim and not being a fearful victim. One of the others is to be vunerable on purpose rather than to resist it. That way I got to be vunerable with strength and courage. I am powerless....I don't always know....I can't always defend....I can accept the fact of things and that leaves me the ability to do what I can about those that I need to do something about. I applaud your strength and courage with your daughter and the court and the school and such. You did good...you did a thing that works on many levels and you got to feel your past all over again. Now you get to let it go all over again too.

I have been out of necessity messing around in my past again and old feelings and memories float up to the surface again. I get to know again that neither can hurt me...again...unless I let them and I won't let them hurt me again. I'll let them help me...again. I get taught new alternatives to how I live my life today...just like you did today. Stay the course...pat yourself on the back and go to a meeting and get hugs. I can give you cyber ones from Hawaii....here....((((hugs)))) smile

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Dave, I have handed it over to God and am/have been praying about it. Just hate the old feelings bubbling up and it sends my head into hyper overdrive. I will keep handing it over until I stop taking it back, persistance pays off. And I know we are and will be stronger for this situation, just still pisses me off, messing with my children is as bad as it could get for me.

tiredtonite · Veteran Member

You can be so proud of yourself and the example you set for your daughter. You've come through the other side, you did it, you're present now. The past is where it's mean't to be behind you. You looked, you took what helped you to stand up for what was right in court. You are no victim... (((breakingfree))) "feelings aren't facts." You showed your daughter that no one has a right to try to make her their hostage and because you found the strength inside you to prepare well for court and your daughter too despite her fear, that boy now knows there are consequences for his actions and those consequence are waiting for him if he violates the judge's order. I think you and your daughter deserve to be very proud of yourselves. Thanks for sharing. Hugs TT

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs BF,

So proud of you and you SHOULD be proud of what you are teaching your girls!! They do not have to accept unacceptable behavior!! Sending lots of love and support, this too shall pass. Hugs P :)

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Well you know i was a single parent also. I know that karate and those type things build confidence. I mean mentally and emotionally too. We feel less of a victum when we feel more in control.

If it were me I would meet with the parents and this kid to get a better feel where he is at. Is he mentally ill? Is he just a lovesick kid, or what?

I had to face some scary cops and older boys for my son. Yes it was scarey at first, but after awhile, his friends knew Mac's mom. I don't care who's fault it was, I made it clear they all could call on me. It gave me a better sense of my power, and how a single mom does not have to be a wus.

Life is messy. But you are making some GREAT steps taking care of things. You will continue to get stronger. Maybe go to a womens support group and get some pointers. daughter never to be alone, stores where she walks on the way home, talk to employees and or owners and ask that she can come in anytime she feels unsafe to call the police and or you. Or just a safe place to wait. I would have her carry a sprayer of that yellow jacket spray that sprays twenty feet away.

Somehow my kids are very tough. They are good people, have integrity, but you do not mess with them.

I have so much faith in you to take care of this. You will rest up and find your power again. Again we learn and grow and develop our own safe space by talking to others who have experience, reading etc.

It's ok to feel exausted! We all get overwhelmed. What we need are antistressors to build back up. A woman's class of self protection would be good for you guys too.

hugs!!! debilyn

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