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Hi all,
My AH is coming home after being to a family wedding. This was at the end of a months or more of drinking. Went completely off the rails at wedding but She has not had a drink for two days. She is travelling on her own, I dread the key turning in the door tonight. Could I fain sleep? Best to trust in my HP. Cant't wait to get to my next meeting.
Need some help in detaching.
In my experience the a has lots of guilt and they are angry at themselves. When I step in and give rows and judge them it relieves their guilt and this frees them to continue the old bad behaviour. Careful, she will be looking to blame you or shift the guilt to you. Very cunning. I try hard to be courteous and polite. Never angry or sympathetic. I say things like 'I'm sorry you feel that way' or 'is that how you feel'
I hope it goes well for you. Enjoy your day
If you've already been in wars with her about her drinking...fainting sleep isn't going to work...being able to sleep soundsly or quietly will however that doesn't sound realistic now. So try getting rid of the fear of it all before she gets home. For me that was practicing acceptance of the fact that I was married to an alcoholic/addict and was powerless over it. Learning to accept the fact of the disease and that it was not a moral issue...she wasn't bad or a bad person or immoral but was sick...under the influence of a life threatening, fatal disease which she also was powerless over.
Try getting on the new and look up the AMA (American Medical Association) or the Lancer (Britiish) sites and click on the alcoholism button. While she is on the way home learn what terrible disease she is under the compulsive power of.
Go to a meeting and/or talk with others in recovery like you are doing now. Then....turn herself and yourself over to the care of God as you understand God. Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
Good point Gerry, I struggle with the fact that it is illness at times. Alcoholics should be treated with empathy and respect but it's very difficult when they are often mean, unreasonable and abusive. I do believe sympathy does no good and feeds into the disease. I'm often very careful with the alcoholics in my life because I have a need to protect myself from jumping on the roundabout. For me, even innocent comments can be twisted and used as a weapon by my ex ah. His view of the world is so far removed from mine. Detachment is the only thing that has worked for me. I am still resentful at times though. Thanks.
she has been at work today and phoned to say she was not coming home as she was going to a AA meeting. Her sponsor wants her to go early so she can talk to her. I can tell from her voice that she has had a drink.... must remember your words she is powerless and so am I. I still have that sick feel in the bottom of my stomach.
being to a family wedding. This was at the end of a months or more of drinking. Went completely off the rails at wedding but She has not had a drink for two days. She is travelling on her own, I dread the key turning in the door tonight. Could I fain sleep? Best to trust in my HP. Cant't wait to get to my next meeting.
Need some help in detaching.
