The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I finally got "co dependent no more " yesterday & just reading the preface turned me into a puddle. I'm am guilty of it all! Such a hard read for me but I'm going to continue reading.
It was a great book for me to read as was all of Melody Beattie's books. Also "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews is another highly recommended author on my list. Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Awesome book, and it will create a great awareness, of both where you are (or were), and where you want to be..... Don't beat yourself up, it's all about growth..... And you are showing great growth for just reading that book.... it's a journey, and you're doing well....
"I did the best I could, with what I knew at the time"
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I still read it again. I have the second one too and I go through them periodically to check up on myself. Always necessary as I'll always fight that inclination.
Chapter 12 had me hysterically crying my eyes out to the point I couldn't catch my breath. A friend of mine from f2f meetings told me not to beat myself up while reading it. I think it helped me realize some of my actions and directed me on a better path. I hope as you continue to read that you continue to take care of yourself and know you are on the right path.
(((Hugs)))
I completely concur there is no need to beat yourself up about whatever is going on or did go on. What I found tremendously helpful was to journal as I read .. do the stuff at the end of the book and then figure out how can I learn from all of this .. when I did that it became a lot less personal and a lot more A-HA kind of moments. Take care of you and know that you are supported and cared for that was the hardest thing for me to get.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Yeah, I actually started going to CoDA for a bit in my recovery cuz I was so put off by the knowledge of how codependent I'd been and still was. I do believe working any 12 step program to the very basics and working it thoroughly will address whatever character defects you might have.
You have to remember that codependency has its flip side to. Most of the "codependent" stuff we have done was because we cared. Being a caring person is a good thing. I often tell folks not to get too carried away with labeling themselves codependent or love addicted. Caring and loving are mostly assets. You don't want to lose that part of yourself.
Like Tom says, regarding enabling (but it's also applicable here)....This is a problem only when it is "to your detriment." Other than that - Continue loving and caring for self and others the best you can.
