The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Blizzard here in New England...so this a.m. I spent 2 hours shoveling and clearing snow (it cost $50 to $75 a storm for a plow truck to come).
My house is trashed with Christmas crap...wrapping paper, knick knacks...
I have hundreds of papers to grade...as grades are due Sunday. I am tired.
Came in the house from shoveling...only to find...NO WATER. Checked breakers, checked everything..
78 yo Dad comes up and wallows through the snow to the dug well...and we pulled the pump. We don't know if that is the problem or not.
I have no money for a new pump for the old dug well we are using.
Back story -- my ex A hired his cronies to do a new drilled well. I spent 8K and the water is still not potable, and his friend won't return calls...so my Dad replumbed the old dug well into the system (and it stopped working this morning). The ex was drunk during most of the time we were doing upgrades to the house...and the construction...and his cronies/friends...were incompetent...leaving me with a house that is a money pit. I can't sell because I can't afford to take the loss on it...(upside down)...
Please tell me my life will get better...because right now, it's damned hard being alone, with no water. I'm really discouraged.
I don't know your money situation so excuse if this is off beam. But I would think that this is the kind of situation where going into debt would be warranted.
A wise friend of mine used to say, "At least your ex has never given you cause to regret leaving him."
The situations we find ourselves in sure show the true consequences of alcoholism, don't they?
This is tough and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I can identify so much. It is enough to put me in a major funk if any alcoholic ever offers or attempts to do anything for me, I know it will turn to bull crap, like the one where his friend never had to clean his chimney, so we didn't, the house went on fire, the negligence, the cronies, the worst tradespeople ever! Yes I am still going through the consequences and it fills me with dread, anxiety and all sorts of fears. Glad you posted.
rehprof: Hi. Might this be a step 1, step 3 or step 11 issue? Sounds to me as if you are powerless to make any changes, your HP could be wanting to step in, and perhaps surrender to your HP's wisdom could be a solution to a problem that is over your head. I'd suggest taking a hot bath at a close friend's house, but if that can't happen for you - maybe grading some papers while you wait on your HP's guidance or intervention? Just wondering.
grateful...you are right...I have difficulty letting go and trusting that things will be okay...and I feel like I am a total failure...because I am SUPPOSED to be able to control everything more effectively.....
How could you be a failure when you and all of us are powerless over basically everything? Crap happens and while you are in a blizzard in New England (certainly you have had more then your share), we are in a long, long, drought here in the Southwest. My AHsober left the marriage over seven years ago. For the most part I was on my own in a very rural, small town with lots of snow and outages. Some things I considered a challenge from my HP to see if I could survive. For some situations, friends, neighbors, and even strangers helped me. Don't give up; ask for help; look for help in unusual places. I learned that my AHsober wouldn't fix a car until it wouldn't start, when he did try to fix it, he asked his cronies (worthless), and basically didn't understand my point of view. Slowly but surely I have become more and more independent. All the best to you. Sometimes one minute at a time.
How go the repairs? I will be thinking of you and your family. This really sucks and I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I can soooo relate to water issues, pump and all.
You are totally NOT a failure .. hey failure to me means I stop trying. You are still kicking my non wilted flower friend :)
Surrendering and giving up are two totally different things, I will be praying for you and your family.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
