The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For most of the last 20+ years I have been a stay at home mom helping my STBExAH with his business and career. When I met him and quickly got pregnant all those years ago, I was a college student almost ready to graduate with my bachelors degree. However, after a six year marriage to my first exAH I believed I couldn't have children. Finding out I was pregnant made me so happy as I love kids. So...I quit college to be a SAHM. I ended up having four children and raising my two stepsons. My youngest child is now ten. All those years ago, I promised myself that someday I would go back to school.
I am now separated from my AH. I am in dire financial straits. He is in another state "working", and I am seeing almost no money. I still have three children at home plus a foster child. I am on the verge of losing my house, and I have an autoimmune disease that I believe was caused by years of chaos, financial insecurity, and all the other effects of alcoholism.
Well, with the encouragment of a dear old friend who has been kind enough to attend several Al-anon meetings with me, I finally went back to the University and had a graduation analysis done. To my astonishment, I learned that I need only ONE class to get my degree! I am starting on January 22 and God willing, will graduate, with honors, in May of 2013.
It all went so smoothly, something I'm not used to. I began to realize that the fact that it went so well, and that I was able to overcome my fears is my HP at work. He paved the way for me. And, after 20+ years where my sole purpose was "supporting and encouraging" my AH, for the first time, I realized that maybe this is all part of HP's plan for ME. It dawned on me that maybe God wants me to do something myself, with MY life, besides being a "support" person for my A. It was a huge moment for me. It never occured to me that God could actually have a plan for me to possibly do something great with my life. For so long, I lived and breathed "helping" my A, never even considering my career and what I might be able to do.
I thank God and Al-anon and all you wonderful people on MIP for encouraging me to think my life can be different and better.
I too have found my purpose and my own journey not being an extention of my exAH. Glad you found us and that you are practicing self love/care. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I'm glad your life is going better and better for you. It's not selfish to want to live for ourselves. It's your life you should do what you want. Happy graduation in May 2013. You are a super star. I'm proud of you!
Good Job I am so glad you found the courage to show up for yourself. HP works in mysterious ways