The material presented
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I can only pray I'm doing the right thing but my son is calling and I will not answer. He needs to know I'm not going to rescue him anymore if he's sick or if not he has not bothered to let me know he was OK and wanted to plan to come for Christmas. It's his deal now and I have to be strong. It's the only thing I can do to put a stop to this never ending madness of hitting bottom ( he says ), going to detox.....feeling better than binge again. It has happened so many times I can't even count. I love him but I'm not his savor.
It is his deal he will be alone at Christmas.... it's sad but I'm done fighting this diease.
God please help me to overcome and be at peace with my decision.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I visited your son's memorial site today and was deeply touched by your words and love you have. To be able to have somewhere that you can write a little message or memory to honor him brings warmth to me.
You are in my prayers this holiday and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas..
Thank you for all the support you have in all of us misfits :) You are a strong and wonderful woman Cathy
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Just got back from a meeting and I'm happy I went. I had continued calls but one was from my X and he left me a message. He said he's not at my point to refuse his son so he is on his way to pick him up for Christmas. Lucky I guess for Will that his father is in Arizona ( from California ) for Christmas. He and his wife just bought a retirement home here. I'm happy for my son he will not be alone but I know he will be a mess and his father will be able to see what it's really like so see his son in such a bad state. I do pray his father will be kind and loving if he's going to be with him.
I prayed that my son would not be lonely but also give me the peace I needed tomorrow. I have had my son 3 years for Christmas and they have been heartbreaking for me. My son go's off the deep end with drinking during this time of year and makes the day very sad. He has passed out and slept most of the day. Wouldn't eat and couldn't even open gifts.
I'm at peace and God has given me that gift as I see it. I love him so and will call tomorrow to wish him the best this Christmas with love and understanding and that he may find peace in God...
Merry Christmas too all you wonderful friends here on MIP
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I'm sorry you are hurting this year at Christmas. You know, we all go through what we need to and we can trust that it is all there for our own optimal growth. Esp when things suck. It is there because we are going to grow spiritually and get closer to God and others in the right way more and more as time in recovery goes on.
I am going to be alone tomorrow but I am absolutely fine with it. I can't see my family this year because of our codependency happening to hit bottom right now due to circumstances that seem like coincidences but are really my self-will and lack of willingness to change. But I did call my father and told him I loved him and that I'm taking care of business this week. XMas is really just another day but we put so much attachments into it! I am going to watch a nice Nativity movie or something about Jesus tomorrow and observe the day for what it's about, whatever Jesus means to each of us.
I'm ok and my parents are ok. It is not my job to save people. Life isn't always perfect nor did anyone say it would be. We're ok.
Best of luck. Saying a prayer that everyone here has peace. I too am trying to detach from my son during Christmas. This time of year is hard for that. I am learning to stick to my guns, but my family is caving in. Peace to all in the next few days.
Cathy its sounds like you will be able to have some peace for the next couple of days knowing that your son is safe for the time being, I know the feeling, its a real load off your shoulders.....
You are working hard at your program, you deserve some good days, enjoy and know that you and your HP will be able to make that peace and serenity happen in your life more often.
Merry Christmas
In support Oldergal
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
It is only one day out of the year. This too shall pass. Sometimes no is a strong message of I love you. Take care of you and turn him over to his higher power.
Merry Christmas, Cathy. Prayers going out for a peaceful Christmas for you and your family. Your strength in dealing with the effects of your son's disease has given me encouragement. Thank you.
(((((Cathy))))) Mele Kalikimaka also and I nod my head at Nancy's post to you...Sometimes No is a strong message of "I love you". I once heard an Al-Anon speaker say that she had never heard a recovering alcoholic say that they owned their sobriety to their mother. Stay the course. prayers from the Pacific Rim. ((((hugs))))
(((((((((((((((CATHY)))))))))))))))))))))) I know how hard it is, but what a relief, too. May you find peace this Christmas.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
