trying to do my best - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

trying to do my best

chinup · Veteran Member

my dear mom passed away on the 22 of nov. 1 day before thanksgiving,its been really hard this year to make through the rest of these holidays without her she was my world now its like my world has collapsed with out her,im trying to do my best in staying as busy as i can to keep myself focused on myself now and useing distraction to keep her passing off my mind and her too many memories ,and i guess im not ready to deal with them or her passing on right now ,ive done a little crying not much though.she had her body donated to science and in 18 mths ill get her ashes back that i dont want to deal with either or never,i dont know what to do with them nobodies got the money for her a headstone,and dont even know where to bury her urn at,this has been a wayy long tiredsome nitemare for the last 3 mths she struggled for a lopng time before she passed no help here from any familyfor their addicts and alcohlics they dont care.so its all on me and has been for the longest,she should have 200 comeing from ssi to go toward her burial but i dont even know where to call about that ,i guess ssi.which i prolly will cause that willl help for her a headstone i had her a memorial me and 1 sister was all that showed up out of 7 kids,anyway sorry ive rattled on and on just had to vent somewhere ,thanks for listening and any esh will be so welcomed on any thing ive said here.thanks and lots of hugs....chinup

WorkingThroughIt · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi chinup,

I'm sorry for your loss. It is actually pretty common that families act out when a parent is dying or dies. People's feelings come up. And it's pretty common that one child does most of the work. So I see you are that person.

For the first year there are all the "firsts" and as you get stronger you will be able to deal with more instead of distract from pain. Pain is good. People don't realize that. It's in tolerating pain that we grow spiritually. Look at the life of Jesus Christ, for instance. He was persecuted and all kinds of things but he just kept walking anyway.

If you keep working a 12-step recovery program (like face to face meetings in whatever fellowship you;re in) and have an experienced sponsor, by the time those ashes come back you'll have way to do with them what you feel is right. All we have to do is show up and have willingness and then God provides.

God bless you this holiday season. We all die sooner or later...God wants you to enjoy this life while you're here.

chinup wrote:

my dear mom passed away on the 22 of nov. 1 day before thanksgiving,its been really hard this year to make through the rest of these holidays without her she was my world now its like my world has collapsed with out her,im trying to do my best in staying as busy as i can to keep myself focused on myself now and useing distraction to keep her passing off my mind and her too many memories ,and i guess im not ready to deal with them or her passing on right now ,ive done a little crying not much though.she had her body donated to science and in 18 mths ill get her ashes back that i dont want to deal with either or never,i dont know what to do with them nobodies got the money for her a headstone,and dont even know where to bury her urn at,this has been a wayy long tiredsome nitemare for the last 3 mths she struggled for a lopng time before she passed no help here from any familyfor their addicts and alcohlics they dont care.so its all on me and has been for the longest,she should have 200 comeing from ssi to go toward her burial but i dont even know where to call about that ,i guess ssi.which i prolly will cause that willl help for her a headstone i had her a memorial me and 1 sister was all that showed up out of 7 kids,anyway sorry ive rattled on and on just had to vent somewhere ,thanks for listening and any esh will be so welcomed on any thing ive said here.thanks and lots of hugs....chinup

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Sounds like you are doing your best and going through a normal grieving process. I also did not read anything self-destructive in here. I could only hope to handle such a loss as gracefully as you are. Prayers are with you and have a good holiday with your son.

nal · Senior Member

((Chinup)),

It's a difficult time of year for many. I'm sorry about your Mom.

Nancy

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