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The therapist wants no visitation w/exAH for my 12 yo. We've been working on modified as I'm torn. My 12yo wants to see her dad but doesn't like the addict nonsense. My therapist & hers have serious safety concerns (as do I.) So, therapist wants me driving for dinner visits. She wants no overnights - but visits - me drive for a decent span. My 12 yo is pissed. She says dads been a drug user/alcoholic for years and we should leave him alone. (She had a lot to say via him after her visit) She said it makes him mad that he has to pick her up & not drink. She says he won't see her because I'm making him mad so I must hate her.
She wants overnights. I explained if it was important he would not be drinking & using drugs while she is with him. Me giving her visits knowingly with him using could cause ME to lose custody. That I love her and want them to have good, healthy visits.
Anyone been through this? He won't speak with me. Only to her & it's manipulative. I've explained safety to her. She's just so mad.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?
Your child's safety must come first. I would have to listen to the therapist and my own instincts on this one. It's a tough situation for both you and your daughter. Do you have any Alateen groups in your area? Would it be possible for your daughter to attend?
abby are there any Alateen meetings in your area? Do you take her into any Al-Anon meetings with you so she can hear the stories of others? If all she hears come from people she resists all you'll get is more resistence and anger. Allow her to hear other stories especially from the teens. From experience. (((hugs)))
Be careful using your child as your go between it sounds a but frustrating foreveryone. Alateen is a great idea and lots of al-anon literature. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Just take a firm and protective stance like others have stated. She is waffling too - You stated she wants overnights but is also saying to just leave him alone. Sounds like she is really confused.
