The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
has anybody had this problem...... i have been upset with my hubby for awhile and at the beginning it was because of his attitude cause by drinking whiskey (i pray that is all) but now he has been looking for things to be mad at me!!! everything i do has been criticized even some silly stuff. i know he feeels like we 2 different people cause he is how he is and i have a relationship with the Lord. i have never pushed of nagged or even rubbed it in his face. so how do i handle the tables being turned on me? it hurts so bad that i tell him how he been making me feel and all he says is "that is your fault that your unhappy or cant smile"
Yes lulu my A has the same ability to flip each and every situation and turn it on me. From other I've met on alanon this seems to be a typical alcoholic trait unfortunately. I try to not engage mine when this behavior was at it's worst but that didn't mean he would stop. I currently have limited interaction with him but that behavior still creeps out occasionally. I usually leave the situation or end the phone call now days when it happens because I know I don't deserve it & it's just his confussed brain at work.
I hope you can find some peace for your situation.. Alanon meeting have made all the difference for me and just daily turning it all over the God - sometimes over and over thru the day.
Yes I also had this problem. but with my A son. To engage him gets us nowhere but ending in me feeling bad. He is not going to change right now but I can continue to work hard to change me. That's all I can do. My new worry is that he is not engaging me at all...he is silent....so worry is something I have to stop because it does no good either.
We take it day by day and we learn with the help of Al-anon, MIP and prayer to help us get well and let God take care of our A's.
(((( hugs )))) we all need them :)
Keep coming back because I know it works to give us serenity and peace during the storm.
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Yes, I read in an alanon pamphlet that said something to the effect of : the alcoholics first weapon is the ability to incite anger. They want to push your buttons, start a fight, so that they can feel justified in drinking ( because of the fight). They don't feel good about drinking unless its justified. So they are always looking for a way to make drinking possible and justified.
