The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I dont know what had me sign into this site tonight. I think its this very snowy weather. It takes me back to last year when I was learning how to live, for the first time, really. I feel very aware of my surroundings, like often I am watching a movie. I don't have to react to anything at all. I was at a party tonight with all my very old friends. I did not feel like it was the right place for me and I did not stay very long. It was nice to see people but its all changed for me. I see the drinking and I am not impressed with it. It is hollow for me; the gossip, the talk about nothing. I want so much more. It's amazing that I came upon some holy companions to walk this path with. I was telling my therapist back in May that I had no one at all who understood. I told her.. "all I have is you.. and I have to pay you to listen to me." She just looked at me compassionately like always.. I could feel she genuinely cared. She said "you do have me... but that is sad." She would tell me she had hope I would find people to really travel spiritually with. I asked God for that to happen in his time.. and then it did, just weeks after I made that statement. I have these people who get it, who understand, who I can talk about the important stuff to. My husband is included in that list of people. I feel such gratitude for my husband's sobriety, not in a sense of lack or look what I have.. I just feel pure gratitude to God that I know what I know now, that I am healthy and happy.. and that my husband and I have eachother to grow and learn from. He inspires me. I don't know what this post is about.. but I am glad for this site, though I have not been on it in many moons. Its 12/21/12 and the world is still turning... it will be 12/22/12 in five minutes. I thought I might die on the drive home tonight the roads are so bad. I think I would be okay with the world ending if thats God's will. I can sway with the wind but I can't predict the weather. I get that now. In that letting go I am reborn.. In admitting powerlessness I gain some strength.. in an odd way, some power.. the power to hand it all over to Him. "Hold this for me, please."
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
What and early gift to have you pop back in Michelle. Too bad you had to face a bit of blues...might need an inventory? You have mentioned things of gratitude...hang on to them. ((((hugs))))
funny you should say that, jerry.. I am currently working a step four again... its been hard.... not the same character defects as before but things I no longer need just hanging on.. you know.. I am ready to have them removed but I know I dont decide when or how that looks... thank you for the warm welcome, jerry and breakingfree!!
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Michelle! I don't post a lot but do read and I have wondered where you went and if things were ok for you. I'm going to pray a prayer similar to yours and hope for people like that to come into my life as well.
