Thanks & same to you, Mandy.  It is so kind of you to respond to my posts, I really am appreciative & grateful when you do.  I just love dolphins too, so I look forward to see what you post back to me when you do, thanks!!

This will be an awkward year for my family.  We celebrate as the Germans do, on Christmas Eve, so I will spend the day over there with my family tomorrow.  It is only my mother & I and my step-father.  I wrote him a letter, this is my gift to him.  I didn't know what else to do.

I was having much anxiety about it but writing the letter helped.  I have to detach in love, I wrote about forgiveness.  I don't know if he will comprehend my feelings but this is all I can do, it is my truth.

I will bake dog biscuits for my mother, I got the "Three Dog Bakery" cookbook.  I think I will fill the ingredients into a jar - u know layer the dry ones, so it can look pretty & like a gift, along with the book.  I will give her some other gifts of things that I can do, I used to give these pressies & never come through.  I have gone through so many changes & am so happy I am still here & have a loving mother.  Since my depression has lifted, I will be able to actually do the massages I promise to her & she is learning to slow & calm down.  This might end up being a very good year for us!

I hope everyone gets through the rough spots & has hope.  I didn't have any hope for 20 years, but by the Grace of HP whom I chose to call God, I have hope for us all, I am overflowing with hopefulness.  It is a foreign & nearly over whelming feeling, I feel my flicker of a flame of love for myself growing.  I am learning to love myself.

Happy Holidays! love, -K